SEARCH FOR JOBS.
It is all anyone asks me about. I mean for good reasons. Reading even two of my blog posts, one can see that I am very unhappy with my current situation. So naturally the next question is, “Well, where to next?!”
Well I have no idea. Goal #1: LEAVE MISSISSIPPI. Goal #2: Forget about MS and all the bad habitats I have started. Goal #3: Relax because I deserve it damnit! Goal #4: Find a job.
Although finding a job is my last goal, it does not mean that I haven’t been working towards it. The issue is I don’t know what I ideally want to be doing. That hasn’t stopped the search. In fact, it has help to narrow down the answers. Here are some of my thoughts:
- I am truly considering going back to school for counseling. Obviously not this fall. Kids and young adults (hell big adults too!) really just need someone to listen to. So I could join a practice. I could work at a school. But also with a counseling degree I could apply to mentoring jobs such as with Girl Scouts of America. They actually have some really interesting positions available!!
- I like jobs with travel because I can right now in my life ie I have no kids.
- I like jobs that make me think and allow me to use my creativity.
- I like jobs where I can plan events. This could be birthday parties, meetings, camps, etc. It is very appealing to me.
- I would like to work for a teen pregnancy/mom group. I think reducing this number would significantly help out in a lot of other areas. And this is one of the few things I can truly say I feel passionate about other than food, reading, tv, building houses, and sports. Ha.
- I would LOVE to build homes. Better yet, I love Habitat for Humanity. I have applied for several jobs with them and I will continue to do so.
So as you can see, I have narrowed down the field but I still have options. As of right now, I will leave MS in May. Leave for London in June and return in August. From there I will take it day by day and just be happy.
I get goose bumps just thinking about it all ☺
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Plans for next year?
The only plan for next year that is set in stone is operations “Get the hell out of Mississippi!” Come Memorial Day weekend, I will be travelling back to Northern Virginia. I will be leaving this place for good.
Why am I so hell-bent on getting out of here? It could be because I am tired of being cursed out and made fun of by children. It could be because I am tired of caring more than my students and their parents about their grades. It could be because I am tired of the hoops our administration makes us jump through. It could be because I am tired of mosquitoes. It could be because I am bored out of my mind. It could be because I am so tired of being so far away from my friends and family.
All of those are very real reasons why I want to leave this place. However, the biggest reason is because I hate the person I have become and I can’t imagine staying in a place that has caused me to become this way. I have never felt so much pure, fierce hatred pulse through my veins. Its scary! I never use to say the word hatred because it carries such a strong meaning. But nowadays, when my class wont shut-up or someone is mouthing off, all I can think of is how much I HATE this place or I HATE this person.
I can’t wait to leave this hellhole and rediscover who I am. I told Charlie the other day that I know we spend all this time together and we think we know each other, but really we don’t. All he has really known me as is this woman who hates children and complains about her job all the time. I have never complained about anything this much in my life. I have never been this negative in my life. This is just not me!
I can’t really describe this feeling anymore. I know that as you read this, you may not really understand what I am talking about. Or maybe you are thinking, “Grass is always greener on the other side.” All I know is that currently I am not me. And I am going to do what I need to do. Change what I need to change, in order for me to return to my old self….or rather some semblance of what I use to be.
Why am I so hell-bent on getting out of here? It could be because I am tired of being cursed out and made fun of by children. It could be because I am tired of caring more than my students and their parents about their grades. It could be because I am tired of the hoops our administration makes us jump through. It could be because I am tired of mosquitoes. It could be because I am bored out of my mind. It could be because I am so tired of being so far away from my friends and family.
All of those are very real reasons why I want to leave this place. However, the biggest reason is because I hate the person I have become and I can’t imagine staying in a place that has caused me to become this way. I have never felt so much pure, fierce hatred pulse through my veins. Its scary! I never use to say the word hatred because it carries such a strong meaning. But nowadays, when my class wont shut-up or someone is mouthing off, all I can think of is how much I HATE this place or I HATE this person.
I can’t wait to leave this hellhole and rediscover who I am. I told Charlie the other day that I know we spend all this time together and we think we know each other, but really we don’t. All he has really known me as is this woman who hates children and complains about her job all the time. I have never complained about anything this much in my life. I have never been this negative in my life. This is just not me!
I can’t really describe this feeling anymore. I know that as you read this, you may not really understand what I am talking about. Or maybe you are thinking, “Grass is always greener on the other side.” All I know is that currently I am not me. And I am going to do what I need to do. Change what I need to change, in order for me to return to my old self….or rather some semblance of what I use to be.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
A day in the life of the lovely Laura Jones.
I decided this is not going to be one of those standard blogs about my daily life where I just describe what I am doing during the various hours of the day. I’ve decided to reflect on my day by describing the people I interact with throughout my days.
(545am) Of course the first face I see every morning in the mirror is my own! I remind myself that I am a beautiful, young, and (most importantly) intellegient young adult. It doesn’t matter what the people around me say. I pep myself up and get ready for the day.
(600am) Most days I run into my roommate at some point. Usually it’s to wake her up because she has hit the snooze button too much ☺ We often exchange very few words. Both of us are just too depressed that we have to go to work to really talk much more. I am not sure if you have or ever will meet my roommate, but just know that some day in the future you wil hear about her winning a National Teacher award. Once she gets our of here and into a school that really allows her to flourish, she is going to be an incredible teacher. I should tell her this more often…
(630am) Charlie. Preacher. My neighbor. My fellow mtc participant. My friend. Without him this place would just be unbareable. Literally he (and a few others) are the reason I have made it this far through this program. We keep each other going. We carpool to and from school each day. In the morning we exchange a few words but more often than not, we encourage each other to just keep going.
(730am) 1st period: JN. Every day that this child walks into my classroom, I cringe. He isn’t the student that curses a teacher out. No he is smarter than that. In fact he is smart enough to be passing my class with a decent grade! No this child laughs and has a comment for everything. He blurts things out when they are not necessary. He just has no self control and wants to be the center of attention. However, today I learned he is like this because of the life he leads at home. Today I was reminded that no matter how evil some of the children may seem, I have no idea what they wake up to every day. JN opened up to me today and I didn’t expect it. He was having a really rough day and it started at home. I didn’t expect for him to confide in me. Yet I had a conversation with that young man that I never imagined I would.
(900am) Planning Period: I am the department head and host departmental meetings. They are complete BS. But they allow me to chat with Ms. P. She is a local. She is also a very compliant teacher. Good for her because lord knows I do maybe 10% of what I am told to do…
(945am) RP!!! This child makes me laugh. He always tries to sneak by my room without me noticing. But you know what has impressed me the most? The fact that he is SPED but when the SPED teacher asks to take hime out of class, he refuses. He wants to be with the regular ed kids. I love his desire to learn and to be the best he can be.
(11am) DH. What a troubled youth. Deep down, he his a sweet boy. Yes just a boy. But when something goes wrong, all hell breaks loose. And it doesn’t even have to happen in my classroom. The poor boy needs serious anger management. I can do nothing but feel bad because truly I like the child but he has so many issues I don’t know where to begin. And I know his anger has nothing to do with me.
(12pm) LUNCH. Praise the Lord. After 4th period I generally need this break. JA makes this and my next class (1pm) so much better. He simply follows directions and is so smart. He is curious. He wants to know the answer to questions. He never puts his head down unless he is down early…and in that case I am failing him as a teacher because I don’t have enough challenging things prepared.
(2pm) By this time in the day I am mentally losing it and barely keeping it together. KL. Another troubled youth that I have taken to. Apparently I am one of 2 or so teachers where he actually does work. I have no idea why he decided to work for me. But I am so glad that he did. He is smart. He doesn’t have test taking skills but we can work with that. I usually have to calm him down and make sure he makes it to his seat without harming anyone but once there I leave him alone and he always joins the class answering and asking questions. He has even started to joke with me! I love it!
(3pm) If I thought I was dead in 7th period, I literally die in 8th period. Thank the lord above it is learning strategies. SB. My teen mom of two children. I have taken to her because she truly is a good mom. Maybe a young one but she is a good one. She knows she needs her degree to make the best of her life. And every day she comes in ready work for me.
(4pm) Preacher and I drive home. We usually jam to music because we are just so damn happy.
(5pm-10pm) I generally seen no one because there aren’t many young folk in the area. However, Preacher, Carmelle, and I often have lots of good laughs (generally at my expense…_)
(10pm) GO TO BED. I need my beauty sleep so I can do this all over again. So of course the last face I see is my own. I often look tired beyond belief with make up all over the place and hair sticking out like a crazy woman. This is my sign that I need to dive into bed and forget about the days events.
STAY STRONG.
(545am) Of course the first face I see every morning in the mirror is my own! I remind myself that I am a beautiful, young, and (most importantly) intellegient young adult. It doesn’t matter what the people around me say. I pep myself up and get ready for the day.
(600am) Most days I run into my roommate at some point. Usually it’s to wake her up because she has hit the snooze button too much ☺ We often exchange very few words. Both of us are just too depressed that we have to go to work to really talk much more. I am not sure if you have or ever will meet my roommate, but just know that some day in the future you wil hear about her winning a National Teacher award. Once she gets our of here and into a school that really allows her to flourish, she is going to be an incredible teacher. I should tell her this more often…
(630am) Charlie. Preacher. My neighbor. My fellow mtc participant. My friend. Without him this place would just be unbareable. Literally he (and a few others) are the reason I have made it this far through this program. We keep each other going. We carpool to and from school each day. In the morning we exchange a few words but more often than not, we encourage each other to just keep going.
(730am) 1st period: JN. Every day that this child walks into my classroom, I cringe. He isn’t the student that curses a teacher out. No he is smarter than that. In fact he is smart enough to be passing my class with a decent grade! No this child laughs and has a comment for everything. He blurts things out when they are not necessary. He just has no self control and wants to be the center of attention. However, today I learned he is like this because of the life he leads at home. Today I was reminded that no matter how evil some of the children may seem, I have no idea what they wake up to every day. JN opened up to me today and I didn’t expect it. He was having a really rough day and it started at home. I didn’t expect for him to confide in me. Yet I had a conversation with that young man that I never imagined I would.
(900am) Planning Period: I am the department head and host departmental meetings. They are complete BS. But they allow me to chat with Ms. P. She is a local. She is also a very compliant teacher. Good for her because lord knows I do maybe 10% of what I am told to do…
(945am) RP!!! This child makes me laugh. He always tries to sneak by my room without me noticing. But you know what has impressed me the most? The fact that he is SPED but when the SPED teacher asks to take hime out of class, he refuses. He wants to be with the regular ed kids. I love his desire to learn and to be the best he can be.
(11am) DH. What a troubled youth. Deep down, he his a sweet boy. Yes just a boy. But when something goes wrong, all hell breaks loose. And it doesn’t even have to happen in my classroom. The poor boy needs serious anger management. I can do nothing but feel bad because truly I like the child but he has so many issues I don’t know where to begin. And I know his anger has nothing to do with me.
(12pm) LUNCH. Praise the Lord. After 4th period I generally need this break. JA makes this and my next class (1pm) so much better. He simply follows directions and is so smart. He is curious. He wants to know the answer to questions. He never puts his head down unless he is down early…and in that case I am failing him as a teacher because I don’t have enough challenging things prepared.
(2pm) By this time in the day I am mentally losing it and barely keeping it together. KL. Another troubled youth that I have taken to. Apparently I am one of 2 or so teachers where he actually does work. I have no idea why he decided to work for me. But I am so glad that he did. He is smart. He doesn’t have test taking skills but we can work with that. I usually have to calm him down and make sure he makes it to his seat without harming anyone but once there I leave him alone and he always joins the class answering and asking questions. He has even started to joke with me! I love it!
(3pm) If I thought I was dead in 7th period, I literally die in 8th period. Thank the lord above it is learning strategies. SB. My teen mom of two children. I have taken to her because she truly is a good mom. Maybe a young one but she is a good one. She knows she needs her degree to make the best of her life. And every day she comes in ready work for me.
(4pm) Preacher and I drive home. We usually jam to music because we are just so damn happy.
(5pm-10pm) I generally seen no one because there aren’t many young folk in the area. However, Preacher, Carmelle, and I often have lots of good laughs (generally at my expense…_)
(10pm) GO TO BED. I need my beauty sleep so I can do this all over again. So of course the last face I see is my own. I often look tired beyond belief with make up all over the place and hair sticking out like a crazy woman. This is my sign that I need to dive into bed and forget about the days events.
STAY STRONG.
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