I decided this is not going to be one of those standard blogs about my daily life where I just describe what I am doing during the various hours of the day. I’ve decided to reflect on my day by describing the people I interact with throughout my days.
(545am) Of course the first face I see every morning in the mirror is my own! I remind myself that I am a beautiful, young, and (most importantly) intellegient young adult. It doesn’t matter what the people around me say. I pep myself up and get ready for the day.
(600am) Most days I run into my roommate at some point. Usually it’s to wake her up because she has hit the snooze button too much ☺ We often exchange very few words. Both of us are just too depressed that we have to go to work to really talk much more. I am not sure if you have or ever will meet my roommate, but just know that some day in the future you wil hear about her winning a National Teacher award. Once she gets our of here and into a school that really allows her to flourish, she is going to be an incredible teacher. I should tell her this more often…
(630am) Charlie. Preacher. My neighbor. My fellow mtc participant. My friend. Without him this place would just be unbareable. Literally he (and a few others) are the reason I have made it this far through this program. We keep each other going. We carpool to and from school each day. In the morning we exchange a few words but more often than not, we encourage each other to just keep going.
(730am) 1st period: JN. Every day that this child walks into my classroom, I cringe. He isn’t the student that curses a teacher out. No he is smarter than that. In fact he is smart enough to be passing my class with a decent grade! No this child laughs and has a comment for everything. He blurts things out when they are not necessary. He just has no self control and wants to be the center of attention. However, today I learned he is like this because of the life he leads at home. Today I was reminded that no matter how evil some of the children may seem, I have no idea what they wake up to every day. JN opened up to me today and I didn’t expect it. He was having a really rough day and it started at home. I didn’t expect for him to confide in me. Yet I had a conversation with that young man that I never imagined I would.
(900am) Planning Period: I am the department head and host departmental meetings. They are complete BS. But they allow me to chat with Ms. P. She is a local. She is also a very compliant teacher. Good for her because lord knows I do maybe 10% of what I am told to do…
(945am) RP!!! This child makes me laugh. He always tries to sneak by my room without me noticing. But you know what has impressed me the most? The fact that he is SPED but when the SPED teacher asks to take hime out of class, he refuses. He wants to be with the regular ed kids. I love his desire to learn and to be the best he can be.
(11am) DH. What a troubled youth. Deep down, he his a sweet boy. Yes just a boy. But when something goes wrong, all hell breaks loose. And it doesn’t even have to happen in my classroom. The poor boy needs serious anger management. I can do nothing but feel bad because truly I like the child but he has so many issues I don’t know where to begin. And I know his anger has nothing to do with me.
(12pm) LUNCH. Praise the Lord. After 4th period I generally need this break. JA makes this and my next class (1pm) so much better. He simply follows directions and is so smart. He is curious. He wants to know the answer to questions. He never puts his head down unless he is down early…and in that case I am failing him as a teacher because I don’t have enough challenging things prepared.
(2pm) By this time in the day I am mentally losing it and barely keeping it together. KL. Another troubled youth that I have taken to. Apparently I am one of 2 or so teachers where he actually does work. I have no idea why he decided to work for me. But I am so glad that he did. He is smart. He doesn’t have test taking skills but we can work with that. I usually have to calm him down and make sure he makes it to his seat without harming anyone but once there I leave him alone and he always joins the class answering and asking questions. He has even started to joke with me! I love it!
(3pm) If I thought I was dead in 7th period, I literally die in 8th period. Thank the lord above it is learning strategies. SB. My teen mom of two children. I have taken to her because she truly is a good mom. Maybe a young one but she is a good one. She knows she needs her degree to make the best of her life. And every day she comes in ready work for me.
(4pm) Preacher and I drive home. We usually jam to music because we are just so damn happy.
(5pm-10pm) I generally seen no one because there aren’t many young folk in the area. However, Preacher, Carmelle, and I often have lots of good laughs (generally at my expense…_)
(10pm) GO TO BED. I need my beauty sleep so I can do this all over again. So of course the last face I see is my own. I often look tired beyond belief with make up all over the place and hair sticking out like a crazy woman. This is my sign that I need to dive into bed and forget about the days events.
STAY STRONG.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Why Should You Join or Not Join MTC?
I am honestly tired of answering this question. And really don’t ask me why people quit. I don’t know the answer to any of it. I think it all depends on yourself. However, I have created a quick list of 50 questions. No this is not a joke. These are all obstacles I have over come/still deal with. I would urge people considering this program to read through this list and either answer no or yes to each question. At the end, count the number of No’s and Yes’ and you will have your answer to the question, “Should I join MTC or not?”
1. Do you like being cursed out?
2. Do you like being underappreciated?
3. Do you like having to spend the little money you earn on supplies because the school wont give you any?
4. Do you like only having the chance to pee before 8am and after 4pm?
5. Do you like getting gum stuck on your butt because students put it on your stool and wait for you to sit on it?
6. Do you like having to teach to the test?
7. Do you like having to teach to the test with kids who cant read?
8. Do you like having +30 students in your classroom?
9. Do you like working in conditions where the AC comes on in the winter and the heat in the summer?
10. Do you like having to write blogs?
11. Do you like having to drive up to 3 hours to get to and from Oxford about 7 times a semester?
12. Do you like having to sit in (sometimes) really pointless lectures?
13. Do you like never having free time?
14. Do you like never having anything to do?
15. Do you like corn?
16. Do you like cotton?
17. Do you like tornado sirens?
18. Do you sweet tea?
19. Do you like fried chicken?
20. Do you like fried catfish?
21. How about fried dog? (JUST KIDDING. But seriously, everything is fried here!)
22. Do you like corn mazes?
23. Do you like the most amazing sunsets and sunrises you will ever see?
24. Do you like Walmart?
25. Do you like flat land?
26. Do you like heat?
27. Do you like cheap rent?
28. Do you think that helping 1 student out of 250 that you have taught over the course of two years is worth it?
28. Do you like killing trees?
29. Do you think you can handle teaching girls that are 15 with 2 kids?
30. Do you think you can wake up every morning knowing that both the students and the school will shit on you today, and yet still go to work?
31. Can you speak well in front of people?
32. Are you a people person?
33. Do you know when to bite your tongue?
34. Can you follow instructions no matter how dumb they are?
35. Can you be in a situation that no family member or friend will ever understand?
36. Can you go for long periods without eating?
37. Are you organized?
38. Would you call yourself mentally stable?
39. Can you find joy in the darkest times?
40. Do you care about children?
41. Do you like education?
42. Does it matter to you whether or not you see any change in your two years in MTC or do you understand that it may not happen right now?
43. Is it okay that you may gain 20lbs during your time in the program?
44. Is it okay that you start running (because that’s the only thing to do) to lose the 20lbs?
45. Do you mind driving 2.5 hours to for the closest target, starbucks, airport, mall, bookstore, etc?
46. Do you like Macs?
47. Do you like blues music?
48. Does building a campfire to make smores sound fun?
49. Are you okay with the idea that at times you may consider this job a waste of two years of your life?
50. Would you consider yourself selfless?
1. Do you like being cursed out?
2. Do you like being underappreciated?
3. Do you like having to spend the little money you earn on supplies because the school wont give you any?
4. Do you like only having the chance to pee before 8am and after 4pm?
5. Do you like getting gum stuck on your butt because students put it on your stool and wait for you to sit on it?
6. Do you like having to teach to the test?
7. Do you like having to teach to the test with kids who cant read?
8. Do you like having +30 students in your classroom?
9. Do you like working in conditions where the AC comes on in the winter and the heat in the summer?
10. Do you like having to write blogs?
11. Do you like having to drive up to 3 hours to get to and from Oxford about 7 times a semester?
12. Do you like having to sit in (sometimes) really pointless lectures?
13. Do you like never having free time?
14. Do you like never having anything to do?
15. Do you like corn?
16. Do you like cotton?
17. Do you like tornado sirens?
18. Do you sweet tea?
19. Do you like fried chicken?
20. Do you like fried catfish?
21. How about fried dog? (JUST KIDDING. But seriously, everything is fried here!)
22. Do you like corn mazes?
23. Do you like the most amazing sunsets and sunrises you will ever see?
24. Do you like Walmart?
25. Do you like flat land?
26. Do you like heat?
27. Do you like cheap rent?
28. Do you think that helping 1 student out of 250 that you have taught over the course of two years is worth it?
28. Do you like killing trees?
29. Do you think you can handle teaching girls that are 15 with 2 kids?
30. Do you think you can wake up every morning knowing that both the students and the school will shit on you today, and yet still go to work?
31. Can you speak well in front of people?
32. Are you a people person?
33. Do you know when to bite your tongue?
34. Can you follow instructions no matter how dumb they are?
35. Can you be in a situation that no family member or friend will ever understand?
36. Can you go for long periods without eating?
37. Are you organized?
38. Would you call yourself mentally stable?
39. Can you find joy in the darkest times?
40. Do you care about children?
41. Do you like education?
42. Does it matter to you whether or not you see any change in your two years in MTC or do you understand that it may not happen right now?
43. Is it okay that you may gain 20lbs during your time in the program?
44. Is it okay that you start running (because that’s the only thing to do) to lose the 20lbs?
45. Do you mind driving 2.5 hours to for the closest target, starbucks, airport, mall, bookstore, etc?
46. Do you like Macs?
47. Do you like blues music?
48. Does building a campfire to make smores sound fun?
49. Are you okay with the idea that at times you may consider this job a waste of two years of your life?
50. Would you consider yourself selfless?
My experience thus far…
This year has been harder yet more rewarding than last year. I am mentally struggling a lot more. My content knowledge is solid. I know how to get my students to pass the state test. BUT I am just struggling so hard with dealing with everything mentally.
This is really hard to explain. I suppose at the end of the day I feel like I have more things working against me than with me. Every time I come up with a new idea for in the classroom, something goes wrong. The administration puts obstacles in front of you even when you are trying to work for the students. Working as a teacher I feel like I am bipolar. One day all my classes will come in and shutup, the next day it will be pure chaos. And don’t even tell me that most problems stem from the teacher! When it comes down to it, there are days where the kids are just unruly. Even the good students act out sometimes. So to sum it up, I am over this experience and can’t wait for May 26th.
But this year I have also grown closer to students than I did last year. I am not sure whether its because this is a smaller community or because I have 2 classes with less than 10 students. Either way, it has been really nice to get to know my students outside of their academics. Its not always happy things that I hear about. I’ve had a student talk to me about a house fire that destroyed everything. I had a student talk to me about the loss of his mother and how he was the only one with her at the time. I have had a young mother talk to me about options for her after high school and how to deal with her children’s father. Maybe I am not making big changes but at least I am someone to talk to. Someone who cares. I am a young black female that is saying things differently than they’ve ever heard. I don’t run around using the N word or cursing. I am a teacher and I don’t have 3 or 4 kids hanging off of me. You never know when something you say or do will affect one of the students differently.
This last realization has me thinking about possibly becoming a counselor. Perhaps that is what I will do next in life…
This is really hard to explain. I suppose at the end of the day I feel like I have more things working against me than with me. Every time I come up with a new idea for in the classroom, something goes wrong. The administration puts obstacles in front of you even when you are trying to work for the students. Working as a teacher I feel like I am bipolar. One day all my classes will come in and shutup, the next day it will be pure chaos. And don’t even tell me that most problems stem from the teacher! When it comes down to it, there are days where the kids are just unruly. Even the good students act out sometimes. So to sum it up, I am over this experience and can’t wait for May 26th.
But this year I have also grown closer to students than I did last year. I am not sure whether its because this is a smaller community or because I have 2 classes with less than 10 students. Either way, it has been really nice to get to know my students outside of their academics. Its not always happy things that I hear about. I’ve had a student talk to me about a house fire that destroyed everything. I had a student talk to me about the loss of his mother and how he was the only one with her at the time. I have had a young mother talk to me about options for her after high school and how to deal with her children’s father. Maybe I am not making big changes but at least I am someone to talk to. Someone who cares. I am a young black female that is saying things differently than they’ve ever heard. I don’t run around using the N word or cursing. I am a teacher and I don’t have 3 or 4 kids hanging off of me. You never know when something you say or do will affect one of the students differently.
This last realization has me thinking about possibly becoming a counselor. Perhaps that is what I will do next in life…
Monday, November 14, 2011
I Hate My Kids, But I Love 'Em
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they come in loud first thing in the morning, but I love ‘em because they will share their breakfast when I forget mine.
I hate my kids because they talk during CNN student news and don't care what's happening in the world, but I love ‘em because they ask random questions such as "Ms. Jones I know the Tsunami took people back into the ocean but are they really still alive?!"
I hate my kids because they come to school with no pencil, but I love ‘em because they refuse to do any math work in pen.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they laugh at inappropriate times, but I love ‘em because they can make me laugh even after my worse period.
I hate my kids because they slouch in their desks and act like the don't care, but I love ‘em because I know that deep down they do.
I hate my kids because if asked to do 10 problems they say "It’s slow!" But I love ‘em because 5 min later I will find them working hard and asking me if they are doing it correctly.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they make me feel like I am wasting my time trying to teach them anything, but I love ‘em because they always ask “Where you was?” when I take a sick day.
I hate my kids because they make me want to scream, slap, or punch someone, but I love ‘em because I know 9 times out of 10 it is not their fault.
I hate my kids because I know they can make a choice to improve their situation and leave Hollandale for good, but I love ‘em because I know really they have very little say in it all.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they fall asleep in class, but I love ‘em because I know how hard it must be to raise two kids and be in the 10th grade.
I hate my kids because of the intense rage that bursts out of them, but I love ‘em because they were never shown the correct way to deal with anger or frustration.
I hate my kids 90% of the day, but I love ‘em because in the end, they are just kids and have so much to learn.
I hate my kids, but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they come in loud first thing in the morning, but I love ‘em because they will share their breakfast when I forget mine.
I hate my kids because they talk during CNN student news and don't care what's happening in the world, but I love ‘em because they ask random questions such as "Ms. Jones I know the Tsunami took people back into the ocean but are they really still alive?!"
I hate my kids because they come to school with no pencil, but I love ‘em because they refuse to do any math work in pen.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they laugh at inappropriate times, but I love ‘em because they can make me laugh even after my worse period.
I hate my kids because they slouch in their desks and act like the don't care, but I love ‘em because I know that deep down they do.
I hate my kids because if asked to do 10 problems they say "It’s slow!" But I love ‘em because 5 min later I will find them working hard and asking me if they are doing it correctly.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they make me feel like I am wasting my time trying to teach them anything, but I love ‘em because they always ask “Where you was?” when I take a sick day.
I hate my kids because they make me want to scream, slap, or punch someone, but I love ‘em because I know 9 times out of 10 it is not their fault.
I hate my kids because I know they can make a choice to improve their situation and leave Hollandale for good, but I love ‘em because I know really they have very little say in it all.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they fall asleep in class, but I love ‘em because I know how hard it must be to raise two kids and be in the 10th grade.
I hate my kids because of the intense rage that bursts out of them, but I love ‘em because they were never shown the correct way to deal with anger or frustration.
I hate my kids 90% of the day, but I love ‘em because in the end, they are just kids and have so much to learn.
I hate my kids, but I love ‘em.
Meet RP
RP is my favorite student. Well I don’t really know if he counts as my favorite student. One of the main reasons I like him is because he simply does what is asked of him. Perhaps in a good school he would just blend in. However, at my school he sticks out. So much so that I wish I could pick him up and put him back down in a good school that will appreciate him and help him grow. Not my school.
RP is in the 9th grade. He was originally placed in my advanced 9th grade Algebra class. However, due to scheduling issues, he was switched to my homeroom/1st period. He is always the first person in my room and he ALWAYS comes in and says good morning. Perhaps not always with a smile but he always speaks to me. Better yet, he always addresses me with respect.
I feel bad for RP because he was switched out of the class with his friends and other students like him that would allow him to really achieve greatness. Instead he is in a class with a love of behavior problems. I spend on average 10 min out of 50 min a day dealing with kids or waiting for people to shut up. That is 50 min a week (one class period) or 200 min a month (FOUR class periods or nearly a week of learning). I suppose I could try actually being an effective teacher and discipline students, but right now I have zero motivation. So instead poor RP loses out.
BUT RP pushes through. He asks questions when I do get the chance to teach. And because I know he tries so hard and is so smart, I make sure to check on him and make sure he is understanding what we are talking about.
Yup RP is just a nice young man that sits quietly in my class and soaks up every word that I am allowed to utter in my classroom. Perhaps not one of the funniest students. Perhaps not the most charming student. However, what I have come to appreciate is a student who just follows directions. And the thing is RP reaps the rewards. By simply doing what is asked of him, he gets better grades. It could be because there is a correlation between focus in class and grades. Or it could be because grades are subjective and completely up to the teacher, thus being a good student could work out to your benefit…I guess that’s why there was always a teacher’s pets in classes growing up. Perhaps they were really the smart kids. They just knew how to play the system!
RP is in the 9th grade. He was originally placed in my advanced 9th grade Algebra class. However, due to scheduling issues, he was switched to my homeroom/1st period. He is always the first person in my room and he ALWAYS comes in and says good morning. Perhaps not always with a smile but he always speaks to me. Better yet, he always addresses me with respect.
I feel bad for RP because he was switched out of the class with his friends and other students like him that would allow him to really achieve greatness. Instead he is in a class with a love of behavior problems. I spend on average 10 min out of 50 min a day dealing with kids or waiting for people to shut up. That is 50 min a week (one class period) or 200 min a month (FOUR class periods or nearly a week of learning). I suppose I could try actually being an effective teacher and discipline students, but right now I have zero motivation. So instead poor RP loses out.
BUT RP pushes through. He asks questions when I do get the chance to teach. And because I know he tries so hard and is so smart, I make sure to check on him and make sure he is understanding what we are talking about.
Yup RP is just a nice young man that sits quietly in my class and soaks up every word that I am allowed to utter in my classroom. Perhaps not one of the funniest students. Perhaps not the most charming student. However, what I have come to appreciate is a student who just follows directions. And the thing is RP reaps the rewards. By simply doing what is asked of him, he gets better grades. It could be because there is a correlation between focus in class and grades. Or it could be because grades are subjective and completely up to the teacher, thus being a good student could work out to your benefit…I guess that’s why there was always a teacher’s pets in classes growing up. Perhaps they were really the smart kids. They just knew how to play the system!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Portfolio? What?
The final thing that we need to do before we can graduate is create a portfolio. It is suppose to be a collection of stories and what not from the past two years. It is suppose to show our growth. There are a lot of different things that go into it such as classroom management plans, descriptions of our communities, student work, etc. Well I can’t believe I am saying this, but I guess its time for me to start thinking about it…YES!
So things I probably should have been doing from day one: taking pictures/videos and giving more evaluations to my students. Sure I can do that now, but it would have been great to compare things from last year to this year. And the thing about it is, other than the people evaluating my profile, people wont be reading all the words. Hell I just went through last years portfolios and literally just looked at pictures. Starting tomorrow I need to start taking photos. I currently have about 12 on my computer…
But the number one thing I can do to have a good portfolio is to have fun. The portfolios that I really enjoyed were the ones that made me laugh. Okay so I didn’t read a lot but the ones that got me to stop and read were the ones that were funny.
Thinking about this portfolio I am not really sure how I am every going to capture my experience over these two years. Even if there are photos and videos that help me reflect over my time here, they wont be able to capture every little thing that made me laugh or cry or just gasp. They wont be able to show how much I have changed, for the better and for the worse. I am really interested to see how this portfolio unfolds
Just an FYI, perhaps first years should know about this project. I mean I recall it being mentioned, but not emphasized enough. I mean hell, I hardly know what to do now and I am a second year, Looking at these portfolios was eye opening. I think I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Well that’s all for my folks! Wish me good luck and the next time you will hear some thing about this, will be in its final form? God only knows.
So things I probably should have been doing from day one: taking pictures/videos and giving more evaluations to my students. Sure I can do that now, but it would have been great to compare things from last year to this year. And the thing about it is, other than the people evaluating my profile, people wont be reading all the words. Hell I just went through last years portfolios and literally just looked at pictures. Starting tomorrow I need to start taking photos. I currently have about 12 on my computer…
But the number one thing I can do to have a good portfolio is to have fun. The portfolios that I really enjoyed were the ones that made me laugh. Okay so I didn’t read a lot but the ones that got me to stop and read were the ones that were funny.
Thinking about this portfolio I am not really sure how I am every going to capture my experience over these two years. Even if there are photos and videos that help me reflect over my time here, they wont be able to capture every little thing that made me laugh or cry or just gasp. They wont be able to show how much I have changed, for the better and for the worse. I am really interested to see how this portfolio unfolds
Just an FYI, perhaps first years should know about this project. I mean I recall it being mentioned, but not emphasized enough. I mean hell, I hardly know what to do now and I am a second year, Looking at these portfolios was eye opening. I think I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Well that’s all for my folks! Wish me good luck and the next time you will hear some thing about this, will be in its final form? God only knows.
Recent Life Photos...
My beautiful August door!!
I am a meat eater again (for this year only)!!!
You've got to love driving if you are going to make it in the dirty D!
Courtney came to visit and we went to the Kermit museum!! Only took 12 months to make it there...
MY FIRST OLE MISS FOOTBALL GAME!! So. Much. Fun.
I mean they had big old flat screen tvs everywhere. I didn't even understand how they got cable!
Okay so maybe I will miss things such as this come May....BUT THAT'S ALL!!!!
I am a meat eater again (for this year only)!!!
You've got to love driving if you are going to make it in the dirty D!
Courtney came to visit and we went to the Kermit museum!! Only took 12 months to make it there...
MY FIRST OLE MISS FOOTBALL GAME!! So. Much. Fun.
I mean they had big old flat screen tvs everywhere. I didn't even understand how they got cable!
Okay so maybe I will miss things such as this come May....BUT THAT'S ALL!!!!
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