O.M.G its MARCH!!!!

Just a quick shout out to the fact that  WE MADE IT TO MARCH!!!  I can't believe that at all.  Its crazy to look back on it all.  In September I really didn't think I was going to make it to this point.

I know we still have March, April, and May to get through, but you know what else I have to look forward to? MARDI GRAS, HAWAII, A TRIP TO DC, A VISIT FROM MY FAMILY, and ENGLAND THIS SUMMER!!!!

Congrats to us all for making it thus far!

Why Should You Join MTC?

1.      …if you got rejected from TFA. 

2.      …because you realize MTC is ten million times better than TFA so its actually a blessing in disguise.  For real!  I’ve talked to my TFA friends about this.  I am in the same schools as the TFA teachers.  We are going through the same hell BUT MTC teachers get a free macbook and a free education.  Thus MTC > TFA. 

3.      …because you want to save the world. Ha. Well you certainly aren’t going to save the world.  But I have to acknowledge the importance of this sort of spirit in some of the teachers I’ve met.  They quickly learn that that’s not going to happen, but its not that they discard the thought, but rather they change it.  It’s not about saving the world, but making a difference in one child’s life.  I can tell you right now, I wake up and go to school every day for a handful of students.  I believe that I am actually making a difference in their lives.

4.     …if you want to learn a new hobby.  I mean I was placed in the middle of no where.  There is nothing to do but drive to Memphis and spend money shopping.  You can visit other places like Vicksburg and Tunica, but Charlie and I did all that by the end of October.  Hell we even have made it to Gulfport!  So that means that you really have to entertain yourself.  I make a lot of things.  I made a stool for my classroom.  I cook.  I workout.  But my most recent hobby has been gardening.  It was an investment but totally worth it.  My tulips and daffodils are starting to sprout.  I am so proud of the work I have done.  I am pretty sure no one has done anything with our yard in years.  Its been quite the workout every Saturday.  I’ve been working at it for the past two weekends and I’ve only been able to clear one flowerbed and rake a quarter of the yard.  Enough about my gardening adventures…my point is living in the middle of nowhere around no one from home has forced me to challenge myself to do things I probably would never have time for otherwise in a city.

5.      …if you want to dip your toes in the world of education.  Even if you have a horrible two years, you come out with a master’s degree.   I would almost argue that if teaching IS what you want to do as your career, then don’t do this program.  Both my roommate and myself came into this program with the desire to become teachers.  But because of a lot of factors we became very negative about a lot of things.  I have questioned whether this is for me.  I have questioned whether this is really what I want to be doing for the rest of my life.  I have questioned whether there is any way to save these schools other than just shutting them down.  I am not saying that I don’t want to teach after this program.  I do.  I think that I am not being given the tools to reach my full potential so I am curious to see if I can actually teach and I think that requires a better school.  But just be forewarned that this will really change the way you view education. 

Someone recently said something that has really hit home to me in recent weeks. “Even if I never touch education again, I know that schools like this exist.  I know to be grateful for what I have and the education I had growing up.”  I have a little over a year to go.  Who knows where I will be after that, but I will always be able to look back on this experience, and hell, just be proud of myself for making to through in one piece!

A Random Thought...

So bare with me here.  I woke Sunday morning and a random thought popped into my head.  Its a little out there, so bare with me:

I want to take a group of ten students to DC in May of next year.

Yup thats right.  A field trip.  800 miles away.  Ten students.  Me and another teacher.  It sounds crazy just writing about.  But I have been awake for an hour now and I've been laying in bed just thinking of the details: hows it going to happen, who can come, how do we fund it, how do I get the principal/school board to allow me to go, etc.  There are a lot of unknown answers, but what I do know is that I am excited for next year!!

Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to take on this MASSIVE responsibility?  Well underneath all the negativity, I do care about my students.  I do care about their education and about there futures.  And one of the things that concerns me the most, is their lack of  knowledge and experiences with cities and cultures outside of Greenville or Memphis or Jackson.  After Thanksgiving break, I made a slideshow of all the places I visited in DC.  You would not believe the comments I heard as we were watching.  Giggles when a picture of the Washington Monument went up because it looked like a penis.  "Who's that man?" when photos of the Lincoln Memorial were shown.  I really took it for granted that I grew up going to these places for school field trips, but the fact that the students didn't even recognize the monuments let alone their names was really disheartening.  This trip wouldn't just be about getting them outside Mississippi, but would also be about exposing them to history that is relevant to their lives.  I also intend to take them to Georgetown and perhaps even Howard University. The things we can do are endless AND the best part is so many things in DC are free.  Thank you Smithsonian's!

I know this is nuts, but don't some of the best ideas come from crazy thoughts?  I have been thinking of all the ways we can raise money too.  We can do a small portion on donorschoose,  we can sell school tshirts for football games, we can sell holiday cards, etc. I have even thought of some of the random logistical things that will go into this adventure.  We will need another teacher to join us and they will have to be male.  I have already decided anyone with even one referral is not coming.  We can wait till January to decide who comes and we can make them apply for it and write an essay or two on why they want to come.  Yikes its getting me really excited again just thinking about it!!

And I think that is the best part of this whole idea.  I AM EXCITED.  The last things I got excited over was gardening.  I don't remember the last school thing I got excited about.  I know that this will be a big task and who knows if it will actually go down.  I know I have a lot of people to convince that this can happen.  But I am determined.  And even if I can't convince them on DC, them maybe somewhere closer? Somewhere we can drive?  Oh the possibilities...

Why am I here?

I've been asking myself that a lot recently.  Well really, I know why I am here.  Ideally, I want to help children learn.  I want to close the achievement gap.  I want to change just one of my student's futures.  I want to experience a new culture.  I want my degree in education.  But really the question I have been asking myself has been, why am I STILL here?

Day in and day out I return home from a ridiculously hard and tiring day or work where I am hardly appreciated.  I get cursed out 10 times by 8am and it doesn't stop until 4pm.  The students come up with some creative insults, but the only thing I can think is "if only they spent half the same amount of time and energy into their work, they'd all be A students!"  The worse and most frustrating comments are about my teaching itself.  YES I am new.  But don't tell me I am the worse teacher when you sit there and talk/daydream/sleep/write notes/etc during my lesson!!! Then I get home and have to pep myself up to go back the next day. 

Again, why am I still here?  I've thought a lot about quitting and honestly the only thing keeping me here are the values that my parents instilled in me as a kid to never quit and to always give 110%.  Its not the free degree.  I will be honest, I am not even staying for the kids.  When it boils down to it,  its my subconscious that keeps screaming "Laura! You are sure as hell not quitting! You weren't brought up like that! You don't run away from things just because they are hard! You don't give up just because you are tired!"  Its annoying but then again I wonder what teaching would be like if my children had parents and relatives that hammered this into them at a young age.  Maybe I wouldn't have some many students give up just because they can't do one problem or they don't get something the first time...

So the question was asked "What can MTC do to help prevent people from quitting?"  Here are two things I have been thinking about.
1.  Ask first and second years at the end of the year whether or not MTC should place in their school/school district again.  No one has asked me this and I am not sure if anyone thinks it is important but my answer would be NO.  I complained about the students above, but the issues creep in at every level.  And as a first year teacher, its just too much to handle!! My mother reminds me often that everyone's first year is rough.  I believe her.  So on top of figuring out teaching, I have to deal with a mess of other things?  Its setting teachers up to fail.  I've discussed this with my roommate a lot.  We came into this program to become teachers, perhaps as our career for awhile.  But our current situation is really turning us off it.  Its like blowing out a flame that was once bright and glowing.

2.  TFA has lots of faults (as does MTC) but one thing that I really like about TFA is that they have a list of people who they are scared may quit. Then they give them extra support and checkin more often.  I wish MTC did this, and it should be feasible seeing as there are only 23 of us!!  When Ashely was around observing me, it was great because she was also there to checkin on me mentally.  But she is gone.  I feel like MTC needs to do a better job with checking in with its participants just to see how life is going.  Perhaps that's what second year mentors are suppose to do?  I am not sure.

I am counting down the days! Living for May 25th!  THAT'S how I make it through every day...well that and buying plane tickets places :)