I am honestly tired of answering this question. And really don’t ask me why people quit. I don’t know the answer to any of it. I think it all depends on yourself. However, I have created a quick list of 50 questions. No this is not a joke. These are all obstacles I have over come/still deal with. I would urge people considering this program to read through this list and either answer no or yes to each question. At the end, count the number of No’s and Yes’ and you will have your answer to the question, “Should I join MTC or not?”
1. Do you like being cursed out?
2. Do you like being underappreciated?
3. Do you like having to spend the little money you earn on supplies because the school wont give you any?
4. Do you like only having the chance to pee before 8am and after 4pm?
5. Do you like getting gum stuck on your butt because students put it on your stool and wait for you to sit on it?
6. Do you like having to teach to the test?
7. Do you like having to teach to the test with kids who cant read?
8. Do you like having +30 students in your classroom?
9. Do you like working in conditions where the AC comes on in the winter and the heat in the summer?
10. Do you like having to write blogs?
11. Do you like having to drive up to 3 hours to get to and from Oxford about 7 times a semester?
12. Do you like having to sit in (sometimes) really pointless lectures?
13. Do you like never having free time?
14. Do you like never having anything to do?
15. Do you like corn?
16. Do you like cotton?
17. Do you like tornado sirens?
18. Do you sweet tea?
19. Do you like fried chicken?
20. Do you like fried catfish?
21. How about fried dog? (JUST KIDDING. But seriously, everything is fried here!)
22. Do you like corn mazes?
23. Do you like the most amazing sunsets and sunrises you will ever see?
24. Do you like Walmart?
25. Do you like flat land?
26. Do you like heat?
27. Do you like cheap rent?
28. Do you think that helping 1 student out of 250 that you have taught over the course of two years is worth it?
28. Do you like killing trees?
29. Do you think you can handle teaching girls that are 15 with 2 kids?
30. Do you think you can wake up every morning knowing that both the students and the school will shit on you today, and yet still go to work?
31. Can you speak well in front of people?
32. Are you a people person?
33. Do you know when to bite your tongue?
34. Can you follow instructions no matter how dumb they are?
35. Can you be in a situation that no family member or friend will ever understand?
36. Can you go for long periods without eating?
37. Are you organized?
38. Would you call yourself mentally stable?
39. Can you find joy in the darkest times?
40. Do you care about children?
41. Do you like education?
42. Does it matter to you whether or not you see any change in your two years in MTC or do you understand that it may not happen right now?
43. Is it okay that you may gain 20lbs during your time in the program?
44. Is it okay that you start running (because that’s the only thing to do) to lose the 20lbs?
45. Do you mind driving 2.5 hours to for the closest target, starbucks, airport, mall, bookstore, etc?
46. Do you like Macs?
47. Do you like blues music?
48. Does building a campfire to make smores sound fun?
49. Are you okay with the idea that at times you may consider this job a waste of two years of your life?
50. Would you consider yourself selfless?
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
My experience thus far…
This year has been harder yet more rewarding than last year. I am mentally struggling a lot more. My content knowledge is solid. I know how to get my students to pass the state test. BUT I am just struggling so hard with dealing with everything mentally.
This is really hard to explain. I suppose at the end of the day I feel like I have more things working against me than with me. Every time I come up with a new idea for in the classroom, something goes wrong. The administration puts obstacles in front of you even when you are trying to work for the students. Working as a teacher I feel like I am bipolar. One day all my classes will come in and shutup, the next day it will be pure chaos. And don’t even tell me that most problems stem from the teacher! When it comes down to it, there are days where the kids are just unruly. Even the good students act out sometimes. So to sum it up, I am over this experience and can’t wait for May 26th.
But this year I have also grown closer to students than I did last year. I am not sure whether its because this is a smaller community or because I have 2 classes with less than 10 students. Either way, it has been really nice to get to know my students outside of their academics. Its not always happy things that I hear about. I’ve had a student talk to me about a house fire that destroyed everything. I had a student talk to me about the loss of his mother and how he was the only one with her at the time. I have had a young mother talk to me about options for her after high school and how to deal with her children’s father. Maybe I am not making big changes but at least I am someone to talk to. Someone who cares. I am a young black female that is saying things differently than they’ve ever heard. I don’t run around using the N word or cursing. I am a teacher and I don’t have 3 or 4 kids hanging off of me. You never know when something you say or do will affect one of the students differently.
This last realization has me thinking about possibly becoming a counselor. Perhaps that is what I will do next in life…
This is really hard to explain. I suppose at the end of the day I feel like I have more things working against me than with me. Every time I come up with a new idea for in the classroom, something goes wrong. The administration puts obstacles in front of you even when you are trying to work for the students. Working as a teacher I feel like I am bipolar. One day all my classes will come in and shutup, the next day it will be pure chaos. And don’t even tell me that most problems stem from the teacher! When it comes down to it, there are days where the kids are just unruly. Even the good students act out sometimes. So to sum it up, I am over this experience and can’t wait for May 26th.
But this year I have also grown closer to students than I did last year. I am not sure whether its because this is a smaller community or because I have 2 classes with less than 10 students. Either way, it has been really nice to get to know my students outside of their academics. Its not always happy things that I hear about. I’ve had a student talk to me about a house fire that destroyed everything. I had a student talk to me about the loss of his mother and how he was the only one with her at the time. I have had a young mother talk to me about options for her after high school and how to deal with her children’s father. Maybe I am not making big changes but at least I am someone to talk to. Someone who cares. I am a young black female that is saying things differently than they’ve ever heard. I don’t run around using the N word or cursing. I am a teacher and I don’t have 3 or 4 kids hanging off of me. You never know when something you say or do will affect one of the students differently.
This last realization has me thinking about possibly becoming a counselor. Perhaps that is what I will do next in life…
Monday, November 14, 2011
I Hate My Kids, But I Love 'Em
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they come in loud first thing in the morning, but I love ‘em because they will share their breakfast when I forget mine.
I hate my kids because they talk during CNN student news and don't care what's happening in the world, but I love ‘em because they ask random questions such as "Ms. Jones I know the Tsunami took people back into the ocean but are they really still alive?!"
I hate my kids because they come to school with no pencil, but I love ‘em because they refuse to do any math work in pen.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they laugh at inappropriate times, but I love ‘em because they can make me laugh even after my worse period.
I hate my kids because they slouch in their desks and act like the don't care, but I love ‘em because I know that deep down they do.
I hate my kids because if asked to do 10 problems they say "It’s slow!" But I love ‘em because 5 min later I will find them working hard and asking me if they are doing it correctly.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they make me feel like I am wasting my time trying to teach them anything, but I love ‘em because they always ask “Where you was?” when I take a sick day.
I hate my kids because they make me want to scream, slap, or punch someone, but I love ‘em because I know 9 times out of 10 it is not their fault.
I hate my kids because I know they can make a choice to improve their situation and leave Hollandale for good, but I love ‘em because I know really they have very little say in it all.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they fall asleep in class, but I love ‘em because I know how hard it must be to raise two kids and be in the 10th grade.
I hate my kids because of the intense rage that bursts out of them, but I love ‘em because they were never shown the correct way to deal with anger or frustration.
I hate my kids 90% of the day, but I love ‘em because in the end, they are just kids and have so much to learn.
I hate my kids, but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they come in loud first thing in the morning, but I love ‘em because they will share their breakfast when I forget mine.
I hate my kids because they talk during CNN student news and don't care what's happening in the world, but I love ‘em because they ask random questions such as "Ms. Jones I know the Tsunami took people back into the ocean but are they really still alive?!"
I hate my kids because they come to school with no pencil, but I love ‘em because they refuse to do any math work in pen.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they laugh at inappropriate times, but I love ‘em because they can make me laugh even after my worse period.
I hate my kids because they slouch in their desks and act like the don't care, but I love ‘em because I know that deep down they do.
I hate my kids because if asked to do 10 problems they say "It’s slow!" But I love ‘em because 5 min later I will find them working hard and asking me if they are doing it correctly.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they make me feel like I am wasting my time trying to teach them anything, but I love ‘em because they always ask “Where you was?” when I take a sick day.
I hate my kids because they make me want to scream, slap, or punch someone, but I love ‘em because I know 9 times out of 10 it is not their fault.
I hate my kids because I know they can make a choice to improve their situation and leave Hollandale for good, but I love ‘em because I know really they have very little say in it all.
I hate my kids but I love ‘em.
I hate my kids because they fall asleep in class, but I love ‘em because I know how hard it must be to raise two kids and be in the 10th grade.
I hate my kids because of the intense rage that bursts out of them, but I love ‘em because they were never shown the correct way to deal with anger or frustration.
I hate my kids 90% of the day, but I love ‘em because in the end, they are just kids and have so much to learn.
I hate my kids, but I love ‘em.
Meet RP
RP is my favorite student. Well I don’t really know if he counts as my favorite student. One of the main reasons I like him is because he simply does what is asked of him. Perhaps in a good school he would just blend in. However, at my school he sticks out. So much so that I wish I could pick him up and put him back down in a good school that will appreciate him and help him grow. Not my school.
RP is in the 9th grade. He was originally placed in my advanced 9th grade Algebra class. However, due to scheduling issues, he was switched to my homeroom/1st period. He is always the first person in my room and he ALWAYS comes in and says good morning. Perhaps not always with a smile but he always speaks to me. Better yet, he always addresses me with respect.
I feel bad for RP because he was switched out of the class with his friends and other students like him that would allow him to really achieve greatness. Instead he is in a class with a love of behavior problems. I spend on average 10 min out of 50 min a day dealing with kids or waiting for people to shut up. That is 50 min a week (one class period) or 200 min a month (FOUR class periods or nearly a week of learning). I suppose I could try actually being an effective teacher and discipline students, but right now I have zero motivation. So instead poor RP loses out.
BUT RP pushes through. He asks questions when I do get the chance to teach. And because I know he tries so hard and is so smart, I make sure to check on him and make sure he is understanding what we are talking about.
Yup RP is just a nice young man that sits quietly in my class and soaks up every word that I am allowed to utter in my classroom. Perhaps not one of the funniest students. Perhaps not the most charming student. However, what I have come to appreciate is a student who just follows directions. And the thing is RP reaps the rewards. By simply doing what is asked of him, he gets better grades. It could be because there is a correlation between focus in class and grades. Or it could be because grades are subjective and completely up to the teacher, thus being a good student could work out to your benefit…I guess that’s why there was always a teacher’s pets in classes growing up. Perhaps they were really the smart kids. They just knew how to play the system!
RP is in the 9th grade. He was originally placed in my advanced 9th grade Algebra class. However, due to scheduling issues, he was switched to my homeroom/1st period. He is always the first person in my room and he ALWAYS comes in and says good morning. Perhaps not always with a smile but he always speaks to me. Better yet, he always addresses me with respect.
I feel bad for RP because he was switched out of the class with his friends and other students like him that would allow him to really achieve greatness. Instead he is in a class with a love of behavior problems. I spend on average 10 min out of 50 min a day dealing with kids or waiting for people to shut up. That is 50 min a week (one class period) or 200 min a month (FOUR class periods or nearly a week of learning). I suppose I could try actually being an effective teacher and discipline students, but right now I have zero motivation. So instead poor RP loses out.
BUT RP pushes through. He asks questions when I do get the chance to teach. And because I know he tries so hard and is so smart, I make sure to check on him and make sure he is understanding what we are talking about.
Yup RP is just a nice young man that sits quietly in my class and soaks up every word that I am allowed to utter in my classroom. Perhaps not one of the funniest students. Perhaps not the most charming student. However, what I have come to appreciate is a student who just follows directions. And the thing is RP reaps the rewards. By simply doing what is asked of him, he gets better grades. It could be because there is a correlation between focus in class and grades. Or it could be because grades are subjective and completely up to the teacher, thus being a good student could work out to your benefit…I guess that’s why there was always a teacher’s pets in classes growing up. Perhaps they were really the smart kids. They just knew how to play the system!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Portfolio? What?
The final thing that we need to do before we can graduate is create a portfolio. It is suppose to be a collection of stories and what not from the past two years. It is suppose to show our growth. There are a lot of different things that go into it such as classroom management plans, descriptions of our communities, student work, etc. Well I can’t believe I am saying this, but I guess its time for me to start thinking about it…YES!
So things I probably should have been doing from day one: taking pictures/videos and giving more evaluations to my students. Sure I can do that now, but it would have been great to compare things from last year to this year. And the thing about it is, other than the people evaluating my profile, people wont be reading all the words. Hell I just went through last years portfolios and literally just looked at pictures. Starting tomorrow I need to start taking photos. I currently have about 12 on my computer…
But the number one thing I can do to have a good portfolio is to have fun. The portfolios that I really enjoyed were the ones that made me laugh. Okay so I didn’t read a lot but the ones that got me to stop and read were the ones that were funny.
Thinking about this portfolio I am not really sure how I am every going to capture my experience over these two years. Even if there are photos and videos that help me reflect over my time here, they wont be able to capture every little thing that made me laugh or cry or just gasp. They wont be able to show how much I have changed, for the better and for the worse. I am really interested to see how this portfolio unfolds
Just an FYI, perhaps first years should know about this project. I mean I recall it being mentioned, but not emphasized enough. I mean hell, I hardly know what to do now and I am a second year, Looking at these portfolios was eye opening. I think I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Well that’s all for my folks! Wish me good luck and the next time you will hear some thing about this, will be in its final form? God only knows.
So things I probably should have been doing from day one: taking pictures/videos and giving more evaluations to my students. Sure I can do that now, but it would have been great to compare things from last year to this year. And the thing about it is, other than the people evaluating my profile, people wont be reading all the words. Hell I just went through last years portfolios and literally just looked at pictures. Starting tomorrow I need to start taking photos. I currently have about 12 on my computer…
But the number one thing I can do to have a good portfolio is to have fun. The portfolios that I really enjoyed were the ones that made me laugh. Okay so I didn’t read a lot but the ones that got me to stop and read were the ones that were funny.
Thinking about this portfolio I am not really sure how I am every going to capture my experience over these two years. Even if there are photos and videos that help me reflect over my time here, they wont be able to capture every little thing that made me laugh or cry or just gasp. They wont be able to show how much I have changed, for the better and for the worse. I am really interested to see how this portfolio unfolds
Just an FYI, perhaps first years should know about this project. I mean I recall it being mentioned, but not emphasized enough. I mean hell, I hardly know what to do now and I am a second year, Looking at these portfolios was eye opening. I think I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Well that’s all for my folks! Wish me good luck and the next time you will hear some thing about this, will be in its final form? God only knows.
Recent Life Photos...
My beautiful August door!!
I am a meat eater again (for this year only)!!!
You've got to love driving if you are going to make it in the dirty D!
Courtney came to visit and we went to the Kermit museum!! Only took 12 months to make it there...
MY FIRST OLE MISS FOOTBALL GAME!! So. Much. Fun.
I mean they had big old flat screen tvs everywhere. I didn't even understand how they got cable!
Okay so maybe I will miss things such as this come May....BUT THAT'S ALL!!!!
I am a meat eater again (for this year only)!!!
You've got to love driving if you are going to make it in the dirty D!
Courtney came to visit and we went to the Kermit museum!! Only took 12 months to make it there...
MY FIRST OLE MISS FOOTBALL GAME!! So. Much. Fun.
I mean they had big old flat screen tvs everywhere. I didn't even understand how they got cable!
Okay so maybe I will miss things such as this come May....BUT THAT'S ALL!!!!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Day 1, Year 2
Day 1
I wish I had written this on the first day of school because I had a lot of emotions and things have changed slightly. So I will do my best to remember it all…
I remember coming home from day one and feeling happy. I had 6 out of 7 periods listening to every word I said. Yes I had 1 class from hell but I was sure I was going to whip them in shape. The thing about it is this year is all about change. It doesn’t matter that this school is still sucky because it is less sucky than last year’s school.
Things that are different:
- Kids actually listen? WHAT?! This was the strangest thing that I have noticed this year so far. I am so use to saying things five times because no one listens. But now I say them once, maybe twice and every follows suit.
- I leave 10 min after the bell rings for the kids…compared to what 6pm last year?
- I am in bed by 10 EVERY night. I have started reading before bed again. Hell one night I went to bed at 8 just because I was tired.
- I am teaching 7 50 minute periods. That first day of school was a BLUR. Kids come in, do some work, and I look up and they are gone. Its nuts!! And its longggg. I get into work at 7am and leave at 4pm. Last year I LEFT MY HOUSE at 745.
- I also only taught algebra 1 last year. Now I teach algebra 1, transitions to algebra, and a learning strategies class. Last year my big issue was classroom management and just general survival. This year its going to be question of whether or not I can actually teach. Can I get organized enough to teach all these different classes? So far so good. But ask me again in a few weeks.
- BEST PART YET….ladies and gents we went down from 40 kids in my class to an average of 15 with the biggest being 23. WOOHOO. I don’t care what you say, this is the number one reason why I am happy with my big move.
- My classroom management. Wait I actually have some? Haha. Its really hard to say what is as a result the school vs what is a result of me being a second year. I mean the children are much better behaved and generally respect teachers this year. But I would like to think that I have improved as well. I know I have more confidence. I know my voice sounds stronger. And I also can say I came from a neighboring school district that is notorious for the violence in the schools – I believe the kids are a little scared of this? Haha. But does it really matter why? My students are well behaved. (well all periods except for 4th but I will blog about that at a later point ☺)
Its not perfect., in fact its far from perfect. There are a lot of administrative issues still and a lot of the time I just hang my head . Its just slightly more frustrating here because the kids are good. They come to school wanting to learn. They listen. BUT the school is failing them. The school district and admin are just messy and not organized. They make decisions that just don’t make any sense. But nevertheless I will push forward because these kids really do care. First thing I am doing? Organizing the purchase of staff tshirts!!! We need school spirit and it starts with the staff. Haha.
More to come soon.
I wish I had written this on the first day of school because I had a lot of emotions and things have changed slightly. So I will do my best to remember it all…
I remember coming home from day one and feeling happy. I had 6 out of 7 periods listening to every word I said. Yes I had 1 class from hell but I was sure I was going to whip them in shape. The thing about it is this year is all about change. It doesn’t matter that this school is still sucky because it is less sucky than last year’s school.
Things that are different:
- Kids actually listen? WHAT?! This was the strangest thing that I have noticed this year so far. I am so use to saying things five times because no one listens. But now I say them once, maybe twice and every follows suit.
- I leave 10 min after the bell rings for the kids…compared to what 6pm last year?
- I am in bed by 10 EVERY night. I have started reading before bed again. Hell one night I went to bed at 8 just because I was tired.
- I am teaching 7 50 minute periods. That first day of school was a BLUR. Kids come in, do some work, and I look up and they are gone. Its nuts!! And its longggg. I get into work at 7am and leave at 4pm. Last year I LEFT MY HOUSE at 745.
- I also only taught algebra 1 last year. Now I teach algebra 1, transitions to algebra, and a learning strategies class. Last year my big issue was classroom management and just general survival. This year its going to be question of whether or not I can actually teach. Can I get organized enough to teach all these different classes? So far so good. But ask me again in a few weeks.
- BEST PART YET….ladies and gents we went down from 40 kids in my class to an average of 15 with the biggest being 23. WOOHOO. I don’t care what you say, this is the number one reason why I am happy with my big move.
- My classroom management. Wait I actually have some? Haha. Its really hard to say what is as a result the school vs what is a result of me being a second year. I mean the children are much better behaved and generally respect teachers this year. But I would like to think that I have improved as well. I know I have more confidence. I know my voice sounds stronger. And I also can say I came from a neighboring school district that is notorious for the violence in the schools – I believe the kids are a little scared of this? Haha. But does it really matter why? My students are well behaved. (well all periods except for 4th but I will blog about that at a later point ☺)
Its not perfect., in fact its far from perfect. There are a lot of administrative issues still and a lot of the time I just hang my head . Its just slightly more frustrating here because the kids are good. They come to school wanting to learn. They listen. BUT the school is failing them. The school district and admin are just messy and not organized. They make decisions that just don’t make any sense. But nevertheless I will push forward because these kids really do care. First thing I am doing? Organizing the purchase of staff tshirts!!! We need school spirit and it starts with the staff. Haha.
More to come soon.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Dear First Years,
WELCOME!!
I am excited to meet you all and to get to know you all. I hope you are ready for the craziest, most insane, most exhausting two years of your life. Who am I kidding, there is no way to prepare for this.
I was asked to give some advice to the new class but I am sitting here and I am not really sure what to say. I mean I only completed my FIRST year. I am no expert. I mean I am changing most of the things I did in my classroom this year. But I can give you some words of advice on surviving.
1. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO STAY SANE. If this is exercising or talking on the phone to family every night or traveling on weekends, do it!! This kind of falls hand in hand with finding something to do such as a hobby. Its going to inevitably happen though. You are going to be consumed by teaching at some point this year. You are going to eat, breath, and sleep school. But it wont last. You will either see the light or have a mental breakdown. When that occurs, find a hobby. My hobby? Travelling… Thanks to my neighbor. It was sometime in the fall when the one and only Charles Preacher said “we always need a trip to look forward to.” From that day one, there has always been something, whether big or small, that I have to look forward to. To me, spending money to get out of the delta is 100% worth it.
2. SLEEP. As I was cleaning out my classroom I found some goals that I had my homeroom write back in August when we were holding classes. I wrote my goals for the year down too. On my middle finger I wrote “Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night” I am proud to say that 98% of the time, I stuck to that goal. I coached soccer so sometimes it just wasn’t possible. I never stayed up late doing school stuff. You just have to realize that its not that serious. Things will get done when they get done. Didn’t finish all the grading you wanted? That’s fine, do it on your planning block. Didn’t call all the parents you wanted? That’s fine, finish it tomorrow. If you don’t sleep, I promise you that the kids are going to sound ten times louder than the actually are the next day.
3. Teaching is one big science experiment in which every day is a new day and you can change things however you want. If something is not going the way you envisioned, change it. As long as you are on board 100% and you are enthusiastic about it, the kids will eventually accept the change as well. Change the look of your classroom. Change the consequences. Change the way you teach. Doesn’t matter. Just realize that you are the scientist and the classroom is your lab. Don’t go overboard, but don’t be afraid to change things.
4. Serenity Prayer…this has been my motto all year. Once I let go and realized that I can’t control everything, my emotional well being vastly improved. It doesn’t matter the quality of your school, you just cannot control everything. I told myself and eventually I started telling my students, I don’t care what happens outside my classroom, but in here, I run things. And still you can’t control whether or not a student wants to learn in the classroom. As long as your doing everything you can do and as long as you can go home at night and say “I tried” then you are doing your job. I turned to laughter. Crying was too emotionally draining. Find a friend and just laugh about the ridiculousness. Don’t complain about. Just laugh. Realize that this whole experience is sort of what Alice felt like falling down the rabbit whole. Reason goes out the window so stop trying to make sense of it all.
And that’s it. I have no other wise words to depart on you. I am here for you though, especially if you want a good laugh…remember that time my students stuck neon green gum to my chair and I sat on it?!?!? Yeah that was funny…
I am excited to meet you all and to get to know you all. I hope you are ready for the craziest, most insane, most exhausting two years of your life. Who am I kidding, there is no way to prepare for this.
I was asked to give some advice to the new class but I am sitting here and I am not really sure what to say. I mean I only completed my FIRST year. I am no expert. I mean I am changing most of the things I did in my classroom this year. But I can give you some words of advice on surviving.
1. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO STAY SANE. If this is exercising or talking on the phone to family every night or traveling on weekends, do it!! This kind of falls hand in hand with finding something to do such as a hobby. Its going to inevitably happen though. You are going to be consumed by teaching at some point this year. You are going to eat, breath, and sleep school. But it wont last. You will either see the light or have a mental breakdown. When that occurs, find a hobby. My hobby? Travelling… Thanks to my neighbor. It was sometime in the fall when the one and only Charles Preacher said “we always need a trip to look forward to.” From that day one, there has always been something, whether big or small, that I have to look forward to. To me, spending money to get out of the delta is 100% worth it.
2. SLEEP. As I was cleaning out my classroom I found some goals that I had my homeroom write back in August when we were holding classes. I wrote my goals for the year down too. On my middle finger I wrote “Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night” I am proud to say that 98% of the time, I stuck to that goal. I coached soccer so sometimes it just wasn’t possible. I never stayed up late doing school stuff. You just have to realize that its not that serious. Things will get done when they get done. Didn’t finish all the grading you wanted? That’s fine, do it on your planning block. Didn’t call all the parents you wanted? That’s fine, finish it tomorrow. If you don’t sleep, I promise you that the kids are going to sound ten times louder than the actually are the next day.
3. Teaching is one big science experiment in which every day is a new day and you can change things however you want. If something is not going the way you envisioned, change it. As long as you are on board 100% and you are enthusiastic about it, the kids will eventually accept the change as well. Change the look of your classroom. Change the consequences. Change the way you teach. Doesn’t matter. Just realize that you are the scientist and the classroom is your lab. Don’t go overboard, but don’t be afraid to change things.
4. Serenity Prayer…this has been my motto all year. Once I let go and realized that I can’t control everything, my emotional well being vastly improved. It doesn’t matter the quality of your school, you just cannot control everything. I told myself and eventually I started telling my students, I don’t care what happens outside my classroom, but in here, I run things. And still you can’t control whether or not a student wants to learn in the classroom. As long as your doing everything you can do and as long as you can go home at night and say “I tried” then you are doing your job. I turned to laughter. Crying was too emotionally draining. Find a friend and just laugh about the ridiculousness. Don’t complain about. Just laugh. Realize that this whole experience is sort of what Alice felt like falling down the rabbit whole. Reason goes out the window so stop trying to make sense of it all.
And that’s it. I have no other wise words to depart on you. I am here for you though, especially if you want a good laugh…remember that time my students stuck neon green gum to my chair and I sat on it?!?!? Yeah that was funny…
May 24, 2011
Well that’s it. Year one down. Like my roommate said “it was kind of anticlimactic.” The year as a whole was a rollercoaster ride, however, waking up for the last day of school seemed no different than any other day. And when the bell rang to let the kids go, I packed up my stuff and left too. That was that.
I am pretty sure I was just in shock that I made it to the last day of school. I mean there were certainly days in the year where I didn’t think I was going to make it. Heck, there were days in May when I thought “Can I really make it another 13 days?!” But I did.
What were my thoughts on the year? Too many to rehash. Do I think I grew as a teacher? Its really unclear because its hard to discern what I changed consciously and what I changed because of “outside” forces. I do believe that I learned how to mentally deal with my situation and that’s how I made it to May. I learned how to not let everything bother me. I learned to keep my school work at school except for on Sundays. I learned to just turn my head and laugh at the insanity around me.
But what was the best part of the year? The friendships I have made over the year. I have a small group of really close friends and I am not sure what I would do without them. They make this whole thing bearable, especially my roommate and neighbors. I am not sure I would have made it to May without them. Really and truly. They make this whole ordeal worth it…
But here I am speaking as if it’s over! Ha. Far from it! Yes its true I am moving on to a different school, however, I am still in the program and I still have one fully year of teaching to go before I can truly talk of the “bonds between friends that will last a lifetime.”
Summer school starts in two days. In January I realized that I am going to have to take summer school seriously or at least more so than most second years. I need to undo the bad habits that I have picked up and re-teach myself how to be an effective teacher. But the thought of re-teaching myself everything in just three weeks is overwhelming. So I decided to focus on two things that I think are crucial to any classroom and that I personally need the most work with: consequences and rewards.
For the first three months, I did really well with following a consequence ladder and it sort of worked. It worked well for the kids who were truly good kids but stepped out of line every once in awhile. It didn’t work well with the “bad” kids and it didn’t work well once I sent them to the office. But by November I stopped being so consistent. It was a lot of work on myself and I was barely staying afloat. Come January, I was making up consequences as they came to me. You have detention! You stay when the bell rings! You go sit in the corner! It worked for the most part, however, there were major consistency issues that even the kids would call me out on and they were right! Someone would get caught eating and would have detention while someone else caught doing the same thing may just lose 5 points for the day. That’s were the issue lies. The kids need to know if they do x, then y is the consequence no matter who the offender is. Children really seem to pickup on fairness. If you treat them fairly, they will, more times than not, react appropriately. So I am going to pay close attention to our consequence ladder in the classroom this summer and make sure I am CONSISTANT.
BUT more important than consequences, in my eyes, are rewards. Ideally, I want my classroom to be based around rewards and not consequences. I want to motivate the kids to learn, not beat them down. At the beginning of the year, I plan to come down hard with consequences, but I will also come down hard on rewards. I am not sure entirely what my reward system will be like yet, but I believe its going to be centered around groups. As the second semester progressed, I used groups in my classroom more and more until I finally just left them in groups. If managed correctly and if the rules are clearly stated, groups work wonders. I do a lot less running around and the kids do a lot more working. By May I rarely had a kid asleep in my classroom and I believe its because they were able to ask neighbors for help instead of just put their head down and give up. I want my kids to take pride in their groups and I want them to motivate each other in the groups. I may not be able to practice this in summer school because everyone (the other teachers) may not want to work in groups. However, I can practice praising the kids and their good behavior a lot more than I did in my classroom this year.
There are a lot of other things I want to change and I will contemplate this as the summer progresses.
I am pretty sure I was just in shock that I made it to the last day of school. I mean there were certainly days in the year where I didn’t think I was going to make it. Heck, there were days in May when I thought “Can I really make it another 13 days?!” But I did.
What were my thoughts on the year? Too many to rehash. Do I think I grew as a teacher? Its really unclear because its hard to discern what I changed consciously and what I changed because of “outside” forces. I do believe that I learned how to mentally deal with my situation and that’s how I made it to May. I learned how to not let everything bother me. I learned to keep my school work at school except for on Sundays. I learned to just turn my head and laugh at the insanity around me.
But what was the best part of the year? The friendships I have made over the year. I have a small group of really close friends and I am not sure what I would do without them. They make this whole thing bearable, especially my roommate and neighbors. I am not sure I would have made it to May without them. Really and truly. They make this whole ordeal worth it…
But here I am speaking as if it’s over! Ha. Far from it! Yes its true I am moving on to a different school, however, I am still in the program and I still have one fully year of teaching to go before I can truly talk of the “bonds between friends that will last a lifetime.”
Summer school starts in two days. In January I realized that I am going to have to take summer school seriously or at least more so than most second years. I need to undo the bad habits that I have picked up and re-teach myself how to be an effective teacher. But the thought of re-teaching myself everything in just three weeks is overwhelming. So I decided to focus on two things that I think are crucial to any classroom and that I personally need the most work with: consequences and rewards.
For the first three months, I did really well with following a consequence ladder and it sort of worked. It worked well for the kids who were truly good kids but stepped out of line every once in awhile. It didn’t work well with the “bad” kids and it didn’t work well once I sent them to the office. But by November I stopped being so consistent. It was a lot of work on myself and I was barely staying afloat. Come January, I was making up consequences as they came to me. You have detention! You stay when the bell rings! You go sit in the corner! It worked for the most part, however, there were major consistency issues that even the kids would call me out on and they were right! Someone would get caught eating and would have detention while someone else caught doing the same thing may just lose 5 points for the day. That’s were the issue lies. The kids need to know if they do x, then y is the consequence no matter who the offender is. Children really seem to pickup on fairness. If you treat them fairly, they will, more times than not, react appropriately. So I am going to pay close attention to our consequence ladder in the classroom this summer and make sure I am CONSISTANT.
BUT more important than consequences, in my eyes, are rewards. Ideally, I want my classroom to be based around rewards and not consequences. I want to motivate the kids to learn, not beat them down. At the beginning of the year, I plan to come down hard with consequences, but I will also come down hard on rewards. I am not sure entirely what my reward system will be like yet, but I believe its going to be centered around groups. As the second semester progressed, I used groups in my classroom more and more until I finally just left them in groups. If managed correctly and if the rules are clearly stated, groups work wonders. I do a lot less running around and the kids do a lot more working. By May I rarely had a kid asleep in my classroom and I believe its because they were able to ask neighbors for help instead of just put their head down and give up. I want my kids to take pride in their groups and I want them to motivate each other in the groups. I may not be able to practice this in summer school because everyone (the other teachers) may not want to work in groups. However, I can practice praising the kids and their good behavior a lot more than I did in my classroom this year.
There are a lot of other things I want to change and I will contemplate this as the summer progresses.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
So Long Second-Years!!!
Dear Second-Years
Although I may not be close with all of you, as a group you’ve been really helpful and have left a mark on me.
The first thing I noticed about everyone was that you were all really willing to help out a first year in anyway. You were a great resource! I got so many of my manipulatives from you guys. I got ideas for my classroom from you guys. As my first year ends and I have to start thinking about the next generation of MTC that is about to enter, I have really stopped to think about how I can be a resource to them and what I will tell them when the inevitable question about my first year pops up. And honestly right now I just have been thinking that I need to avoid talking to first years about my first year because I am so pessimistic and negative about everything now. Thus, thinking about how much you helped me after your first year makes me feel really grateful. You had to dig deep to not just share the horror stories!!
But y’all were so much more than a great resource. The mental and emotional support that I got from second years was always perfectly timed and there were certain people that I knew I could always go to. The random gchats and texts really made more of a difference than I think most people ever realized. This is my first time really getting away from home because I went to college about 30min away from where I grew up. Now its at least two plane rides before I get to see any family. We are forced to mingle with each other and be there for each other because most of us are far away from home. That family culture was really cultivated here. A special shout out to my delta second years. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how boring the delta is and how much it sucks in general. However, you all did a great job of making the most of it. I have had some REALLY good laughs with you all. And you know just the friendly face every once in awhile makes such a difference.
But most of all, I appreciate the second years because you all are living proof that it is possible to make it through these two years. I mean its May and school still sucks. IN FACT, I may even argue that Ben Guest is wrong (what?!) and that its not October nor February that are the worse months but really and truly its May!!! Post the state test has been hell. And things are just spiraling further out of control. However, I know I can make it. And the thought of making it another year after that can be really scary, but hey the second-years can do it, so can I!
So I would like to give all second years a big bear hug thank-you for all that you have done. I wish you luck with whatever you do. I mean after this, you truly can do anything. Don’t limit yourself.
Peace,
Laura
Although I may not be close with all of you, as a group you’ve been really helpful and have left a mark on me.
The first thing I noticed about everyone was that you were all really willing to help out a first year in anyway. You were a great resource! I got so many of my manipulatives from you guys. I got ideas for my classroom from you guys. As my first year ends and I have to start thinking about the next generation of MTC that is about to enter, I have really stopped to think about how I can be a resource to them and what I will tell them when the inevitable question about my first year pops up. And honestly right now I just have been thinking that I need to avoid talking to first years about my first year because I am so pessimistic and negative about everything now. Thus, thinking about how much you helped me after your first year makes me feel really grateful. You had to dig deep to not just share the horror stories!!
But y’all were so much more than a great resource. The mental and emotional support that I got from second years was always perfectly timed and there were certain people that I knew I could always go to. The random gchats and texts really made more of a difference than I think most people ever realized. This is my first time really getting away from home because I went to college about 30min away from where I grew up. Now its at least two plane rides before I get to see any family. We are forced to mingle with each other and be there for each other because most of us are far away from home. That family culture was really cultivated here. A special shout out to my delta second years. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how boring the delta is and how much it sucks in general. However, you all did a great job of making the most of it. I have had some REALLY good laughs with you all. And you know just the friendly face every once in awhile makes such a difference.
But most of all, I appreciate the second years because you all are living proof that it is possible to make it through these two years. I mean its May and school still sucks. IN FACT, I may even argue that Ben Guest is wrong (what?!) and that its not October nor February that are the worse months but really and truly its May!!! Post the state test has been hell. And things are just spiraling further out of control. However, I know I can make it. And the thought of making it another year after that can be really scary, but hey the second-years can do it, so can I!
So I would like to give all second years a big bear hug thank-you for all that you have done. I wish you luck with whatever you do. I mean after this, you truly can do anything. Don’t limit yourself.
Peace,
Laura
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Stream of Consciousness
Writing about what I am going to change next year is really rough right now. I am just trying to make it to the end of this year in one piece. Yes I have had thoughts about how I am going to change things in the middle of class, but I haven’t really sat down and thought about it. I am not sure even where I will be next year. That’s what the summer is for. But here goes nothing…
…I will be stricter with calculators. They wont steal batteries. They will each have numbers assigned to them and the numbers will not change…
…I will not teach calculator programs until the very end. I wish I had hammered the basics even more. I should have stayed on some subjects longer…
…I want to plan out my own schedule for the year. The kids will know when every test is for the fall and spring semesters separately. The fall semester I would randomly just say we are having a test this week or next Monday. This semester I have gotten better at but not what I want…
…I want to have better organization on the walls in my room. I want the room to have less white space. I have decorated school doors since the 5th grade. My best friend and I use to do it all the time because our mom’s worked in the school. I LOVE decorating classrooms. I had such high hopes for my room. However I quickly learned to change those hopes because my students would ripe them down or write curse words on them. Next year I want stuff up all the time…
…I am sticking with rewards…I need to be more consistent with my consequences. I have noticed that I am not fair. Its not on purpose but its because I have started to make up my own consequences on the fly rather than sticking to a ladder. I want to create a ladder again so everyone knows when they are getting what and why. Because of variables that were not in my control, this was not possible this year, but I am looking to change that next year.
…My overall goal is for the students to take on more responsibility in my classroom from the beginning. They will have organized notebooks. They will write things down and I will do less. They will take attendance. They will work in groups and answer each other’s questions. I am not your mamas!!! That’s what I say these days. I don’t buy your pencils. I don’t keep track of your id. I don’t make sure you aren’t cheating. That’s wasting my energy. You have got to wake up and want to learn. Otherwise its all pointless. …that’s the tail end of a speech that I was giving my classes today….they were off the chain. I cancelled tutoring because I was so tired. I felt guilty.
…I will be stricter with calculators. They wont steal batteries. They will each have numbers assigned to them and the numbers will not change…
…I will not teach calculator programs until the very end. I wish I had hammered the basics even more. I should have stayed on some subjects longer…
…I want to plan out my own schedule for the year. The kids will know when every test is for the fall and spring semesters separately. The fall semester I would randomly just say we are having a test this week or next Monday. This semester I have gotten better at but not what I want…
…I want to have better organization on the walls in my room. I want the room to have less white space. I have decorated school doors since the 5th grade. My best friend and I use to do it all the time because our mom’s worked in the school. I LOVE decorating classrooms. I had such high hopes for my room. However I quickly learned to change those hopes because my students would ripe them down or write curse words on them. Next year I want stuff up all the time…
…I am sticking with rewards…I need to be more consistent with my consequences. I have noticed that I am not fair. Its not on purpose but its because I have started to make up my own consequences on the fly rather than sticking to a ladder. I want to create a ladder again so everyone knows when they are getting what and why. Because of variables that were not in my control, this was not possible this year, but I am looking to change that next year.
…My overall goal is for the students to take on more responsibility in my classroom from the beginning. They will have organized notebooks. They will write things down and I will do less. They will take attendance. They will work in groups and answer each other’s questions. I am not your mamas!!! That’s what I say these days. I don’t buy your pencils. I don’t keep track of your id. I don’t make sure you aren’t cheating. That’s wasting my energy. You have got to wake up and want to learn. Otherwise its all pointless. …that’s the tail end of a speech that I was giving my classes today….they were off the chain. I cancelled tutoring because I was so tired. I felt guilty.
Paradise aka HAWAII
For spring break Charlie and I went to Hawaii. We could not have made a better decision for so many reasons.
First of all, it was my first visit to the island. I have always wanted to go and I can’t believe I made that dream a reality. It’s crazy that Hawaii is part of the US. You get there and you feel like you are in another country! And Hawaii met all my expectations and more. The people as well as the general atmosphere were very chill and relaxing. The beaches were gorgeous. The views were to die for. The food was scrumptious. BUT best of all, I was able to relax.
This is the second reason why Hawaii was an excellent decision. Yes it was spring break and I would have probably been happy just about anywhere outside of the state of Mississippi, however, being in Hawaii I completely forgot about EVERYTHING. I forgot about being cursed out and dealing with children who just don’t care. I did not think of the delta once! I got some much needed sleep. I woke up when I wanted to. I just felt so much better! I wasn’t holding any stress in my shoulders. Life was gooooood.
What did we do?
- Sunday: we climbed Diamond Head! It was more of a hike than I thought. But the view at the top was to die for!!! Plus I love hiking.
- Monday: Iolani Palace! I love royalty. It was fun
- Tuesday: Tour of the island. Because of the tsunami the waves on the north shore were ridiculous!! I have always wanted to see big waves and they were out of control. We got to go to a pineapple fame (DOLE). Pineapple is my favorite fruit so that was awesome. Do you know how pineapple grows?
- Wednesday: We went to a market. I love markets.
- Thursday: Polynesian Culture Center. WOOOHOOO. I love the Mormons just for building this place. I learned so much. I had so much fun. It made me want to go to all the other islands! The whole center was centered around different Polynesian islands and their cultures. We saw performances from all the countries as well!!
- Friday: We spent ALL day at the beach. We were leaving and we wanted to soak in as much sun as possible
Yes the end was horrible to leave, however Charlie and I came to a realization. We work in hell. We go to work every day even though we hate it just so we can go to places like this. And it was all worth it. I would go back in a heart beat. In fact as we were traveling to the airport I started shooting questions at a local about life on the island and how much it actually costs, etc. Perhaps I am headed to Hawaii post Mississippi delta? Ha.
Oh and pineapple grows on a bush about 3 feet off the ground, not in a tree or in the ground.
First of all, it was my first visit to the island. I have always wanted to go and I can’t believe I made that dream a reality. It’s crazy that Hawaii is part of the US. You get there and you feel like you are in another country! And Hawaii met all my expectations and more. The people as well as the general atmosphere were very chill and relaxing. The beaches were gorgeous. The views were to die for. The food was scrumptious. BUT best of all, I was able to relax.
This is the second reason why Hawaii was an excellent decision. Yes it was spring break and I would have probably been happy just about anywhere outside of the state of Mississippi, however, being in Hawaii I completely forgot about EVERYTHING. I forgot about being cursed out and dealing with children who just don’t care. I did not think of the delta once! I got some much needed sleep. I woke up when I wanted to. I just felt so much better! I wasn’t holding any stress in my shoulders. Life was gooooood.
What did we do?
- Sunday: we climbed Diamond Head! It was more of a hike than I thought. But the view at the top was to die for!!! Plus I love hiking.
- Monday: Iolani Palace! I love royalty. It was fun
- Tuesday: Tour of the island. Because of the tsunami the waves on the north shore were ridiculous!! I have always wanted to see big waves and they were out of control. We got to go to a pineapple fame (DOLE). Pineapple is my favorite fruit so that was awesome. Do you know how pineapple grows?
- Wednesday: We went to a market. I love markets.
- Thursday: Polynesian Culture Center. WOOOHOOO. I love the Mormons just for building this place. I learned so much. I had so much fun. It made me want to go to all the other islands! The whole center was centered around different Polynesian islands and their cultures. We saw performances from all the countries as well!!
- Friday: We spent ALL day at the beach. We were leaving and we wanted to soak in as much sun as possible
Yes the end was horrible to leave, however Charlie and I came to a realization. We work in hell. We go to work every day even though we hate it just so we can go to places like this. And it was all worth it. I would go back in a heart beat. In fact as we were traveling to the airport I started shooting questions at a local about life on the island and how much it actually costs, etc. Perhaps I am headed to Hawaii post Mississippi delta? Ha.
Oh and pineapple grows on a bush about 3 feet off the ground, not in a tree or in the ground.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
O.M.G its MARCH!!!!
Just a quick shout out to the fact that WE MADE IT TO MARCH!!! I can't believe that at all. Its crazy to look back on it all. In September I really didn't think I was going to make it to this point.
I know we still have March, April, and May to get through, but you know what else I have to look forward to? MARDI GRAS, HAWAII, A TRIP TO DC, A VISIT FROM MY FAMILY, and ENGLAND THIS SUMMER!!!!
Congrats to us all for making it thus far!
I know we still have March, April, and May to get through, but you know what else I have to look forward to? MARDI GRAS, HAWAII, A TRIP TO DC, A VISIT FROM MY FAMILY, and ENGLAND THIS SUMMER!!!!
Congrats to us all for making it thus far!
Why Should You Join MTC?
1. …if you got rejected from TFA.
2. …because you realize MTC is ten million times better than TFA so its actually a blessing in disguise. For real! I’ve talked to my TFA friends about this. I am in the same schools as the TFA teachers. We are going through the same hell BUT MTC teachers get a free macbook and a free education. Thus MTC > TFA.
3. …because you want to save the world. Ha. Well you certainly aren’t going to save the world. But I have to acknowledge the importance of this sort of spirit in some of the teachers I’ve met. They quickly learn that that’s not going to happen, but its not that they discard the thought, but rather they change it. It’s not about saving the world, but making a difference in one child’s life. I can tell you right now, I wake up and go to school every day for a handful of students. I believe that I am actually making a difference in their lives.
4. …if you want to learn a new hobby. I mean I was placed in the middle of no where. There is nothing to do but drive to Memphis and spend money shopping. You can visit other places like Vicksburg and Tunica, but Charlie and I did all that by the end of October. Hell we even have made it to Gulfport! So that means that you really have to entertain yourself. I make a lot of things. I made a stool for my classroom. I cook. I workout. But my most recent hobby has been gardening. It was an investment but totally worth it. My tulips and daffodils are starting to sprout. I am so proud of the work I have done. I am pretty sure no one has done anything with our yard in years. Its been quite the workout every Saturday. I’ve been working at it for the past two weekends and I’ve only been able to clear one flowerbed and rake a quarter of the yard. Enough about my gardening adventures…my point is living in the middle of nowhere around no one from home has forced me to challenge myself to do things I probably would never have time for otherwise in a city.
5. …if you want to dip your toes in the world of education. Even if you have a horrible two years, you come out with a master’s degree. I would almost argue that if teaching IS what you want to do as your career, then don’t do this program. Both my roommate and myself came into this program with the desire to become teachers. But because of a lot of factors we became very negative about a lot of things. I have questioned whether this is for me. I have questioned whether this is really what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I have questioned whether there is any way to save these schools other than just shutting them down. I am not saying that I don’t want to teach after this program. I do. I think that I am not being given the tools to reach my full potential so I am curious to see if I can actually teach and I think that requires a better school. But just be forewarned that this will really change the way you view education.
Someone recently said something that has really hit home to me in recent weeks. “Even if I never touch education again, I know that schools like this exist. I know to be grateful for what I have and the education I had growing up.” I have a little over a year to go. Who knows where I will be after that, but I will always be able to look back on this experience, and hell, just be proud of myself for making to through in one piece!
A Random Thought...
So bare with me here. I woke Sunday morning and a random thought popped into my head. Its a little out there, so bare with me:
I want to take a group of ten students to DC in May of next year.
Yup thats right. A field trip. 800 miles away. Ten students. Me and another teacher. It sounds crazy just writing about. But I have been awake for an hour now and I've been laying in bed just thinking of the details: hows it going to happen, who can come, how do we fund it, how do I get the principal/school board to allow me to go, etc. There are a lot of unknown answers, but what I do know is that I am excited for next year!!
Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to take on this MASSIVE responsibility? Well underneath all the negativity, I do care about my students. I do care about their education and about there futures. And one of the things that concerns me the most, is their lack of knowledge and experiences with cities and cultures outside of Greenville or Memphis or Jackson. After Thanksgiving break, I made a slideshow of all the places I visited in DC. You would not believe the comments I heard as we were watching. Giggles when a picture of the Washington Monument went up because it looked like a penis. "Who's that man?" when photos of the Lincoln Memorial were shown. I really took it for granted that I grew up going to these places for school field trips, but the fact that the students didn't even recognize the monuments let alone their names was really disheartening. This trip wouldn't just be about getting them outside Mississippi, but would also be about exposing them to history that is relevant to their lives. I also intend to take them to Georgetown and perhaps even Howard University. The things we can do are endless AND the best part is so many things in DC are free. Thank you Smithsonian's!
I know this is nuts, but don't some of the best ideas come from crazy thoughts? I have been thinking of all the ways we can raise money too. We can do a small portion on donorschoose, we can sell school tshirts for football games, we can sell holiday cards, etc. I have even thought of some of the random logistical things that will go into this adventure. We will need another teacher to join us and they will have to be male. I have already decided anyone with even one referral is not coming. We can wait till January to decide who comes and we can make them apply for it and write an essay or two on why they want to come. Yikes its getting me really excited again just thinking about it!!
And I think that is the best part of this whole idea. I AM EXCITED. The last things I got excited over was gardening. I don't remember the last school thing I got excited about. I know that this will be a big task and who knows if it will actually go down. I know I have a lot of people to convince that this can happen. But I am determined. And even if I can't convince them on DC, them maybe somewhere closer? Somewhere we can drive? Oh the possibilities...
I want to take a group of ten students to DC in May of next year.
Yup thats right. A field trip. 800 miles away. Ten students. Me and another teacher. It sounds crazy just writing about. But I have been awake for an hour now and I've been laying in bed just thinking of the details: hows it going to happen, who can come, how do we fund it, how do I get the principal/school board to allow me to go, etc. There are a lot of unknown answers, but what I do know is that I am excited for next year!!
Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to take on this MASSIVE responsibility? Well underneath all the negativity, I do care about my students. I do care about their education and about there futures. And one of the things that concerns me the most, is their lack of knowledge and experiences with cities and cultures outside of Greenville or Memphis or Jackson. After Thanksgiving break, I made a slideshow of all the places I visited in DC. You would not believe the comments I heard as we were watching. Giggles when a picture of the Washington Monument went up because it looked like a penis. "Who's that man?" when photos of the Lincoln Memorial were shown. I really took it for granted that I grew up going to these places for school field trips, but the fact that the students didn't even recognize the monuments let alone their names was really disheartening. This trip wouldn't just be about getting them outside Mississippi, but would also be about exposing them to history that is relevant to their lives. I also intend to take them to Georgetown and perhaps even Howard University. The things we can do are endless AND the best part is so many things in DC are free. Thank you Smithsonian's!
I know this is nuts, but don't some of the best ideas come from crazy thoughts? I have been thinking of all the ways we can raise money too. We can do a small portion on donorschoose, we can sell school tshirts for football games, we can sell holiday cards, etc. I have even thought of some of the random logistical things that will go into this adventure. We will need another teacher to join us and they will have to be male. I have already decided anyone with even one referral is not coming. We can wait till January to decide who comes and we can make them apply for it and write an essay or two on why they want to come. Yikes its getting me really excited again just thinking about it!!
And I think that is the best part of this whole idea. I AM EXCITED. The last things I got excited over was gardening. I don't remember the last school thing I got excited about. I know that this will be a big task and who knows if it will actually go down. I know I have a lot of people to convince that this can happen. But I am determined. And even if I can't convince them on DC, them maybe somewhere closer? Somewhere we can drive? Oh the possibilities...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Why am I here?
I've been asking myself that a lot recently. Well really, I know why I am here. Ideally, I want to help children learn. I want to close the achievement gap. I want to change just one of my student's futures. I want to experience a new culture. I want my degree in education. But really the question I have been asking myself has been, why am I STILL here?
Day in and day out I return home from a ridiculously hard and tiring day or work where I am hardly appreciated. I get cursed out 10 times by 8am and it doesn't stop until 4pm. The students come up with some creative insults, but the only thing I can think is "if only they spent half the same amount of time and energy into their work, they'd all be A students!" The worse and most frustrating comments are about my teaching itself. YES I am new. But don't tell me I am the worse teacher when you sit there and talk/daydream/sleep/write notes/etc during my lesson!!! Then I get home and have to pep myself up to go back the next day.
Again, why am I still here? I've thought a lot about quitting and honestly the only thing keeping me here are the values that my parents instilled in me as a kid to never quit and to always give 110%. Its not the free degree. I will be honest, I am not even staying for the kids. When it boils down to it, its my subconscious that keeps screaming "Laura! You are sure as hell not quitting! You weren't brought up like that! You don't run away from things just because they are hard! You don't give up just because you are tired!" Its annoying but then again I wonder what teaching would be like if my children had parents and relatives that hammered this into them at a young age. Maybe I wouldn't have some many students give up just because they can't do one problem or they don't get something the first time...
So the question was asked "What can MTC do to help prevent people from quitting?" Here are two things I have been thinking about.
1. Ask first and second years at the end of the year whether or not MTC should place in their school/school district again. No one has asked me this and I am not sure if anyone thinks it is important but my answer would be NO. I complained about the students above, but the issues creep in at every level. And as a first year teacher, its just too much to handle!! My mother reminds me often that everyone's first year is rough. I believe her. So on top of figuring out teaching, I have to deal with a mess of other things? Its setting teachers up to fail. I've discussed this with my roommate a lot. We came into this program to become teachers, perhaps as our career for awhile. But our current situation is really turning us off it. Its like blowing out a flame that was once bright and glowing.
2. TFA has lots of faults (as does MTC) but one thing that I really like about TFA is that they have a list of people who they are scared may quit. Then they give them extra support and checkin more often. I wish MTC did this, and it should be feasible seeing as there are only 23 of us!! When Ashely was around observing me, it was great because she was also there to checkin on me mentally. But she is gone. I feel like MTC needs to do a better job with checking in with its participants just to see how life is going. Perhaps that's what second year mentors are suppose to do? I am not sure.
I am counting down the days! Living for May 25th! THAT'S how I make it through every day...well that and buying plane tickets places :)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
A fight, A Stabbing, Two Wins, and Lots of Laughs Later.
Yup thats how I describe our soccer season. No it wasn't that bad. Yes all that stuff happened, but it may sound a BIT dramatic. Point being, the season is OVER!!!
Just like my classroom, we look for improvement around every corner, and I wasn't disappointed. As a whole, we won more games than last year (two this year, zero last year). We scored more goals than last year (20 this year, 1 last year). Throughout the season, the score differential decreased even when we lost. For example, we lost to Clinton 10 to 0 via the slaughter rule. A week and half later we played them again and we lost 5 to 0!!! If that isn't improvement, I don't know what is! haha.
The score aside, our ability to work together and our ability to control our anger greatly improved as well! If you ask me, this accomplishment far out weighs the improvement in scores. I am not sure you really understand the mess that was the girls soccer team at the end of October. The backtalk. The disrespect. The fights with each other on the field. It was down right embarrassing!! But by January, we were actually laughing at practice and on the bus rides home because we weren't arguing.
So what are my thoughts about soccer, coaching, etc. in the delta?
1. It is a MAJOR time commitment. I mean I understood that, but I did this alone. I had no assistant coaches. Turns out thats a big deal. Assistants actually do do a lot! Ha. I didn't get home till 7pm on a good night then I had to get ready for school the next day and still get to bed...ugh. And lets not talk about how my Friday nights and Saturdays until 4 or 5pm were taken for games. Yes I had to give up a lot, but I am not going to lie, there were its benefits...
2. The good things: I always had an excuse to not go to faculty meetings :) I got to leave school early for away games!! The girls were pretty awesome. They made me pretty angry, but I also laughed a lot. And sometimes, after really long days, it was nice to be with kids who wanted to be there and wanted to learn.
3. Coaching is kind of hard! It may be because I played rugby for the past four years. Or it may be because the girls didn't know anything and I was teaching them the basics. Either way, it was a constant struggle. It was hard to break it down that much. It was frustrating that after working an entire season on kicking with the shoelaces, we still had girls shooting with their toes!! This was my first coaching experience though. There was a lot I learned. I did an okay job, but give me the job again next year and I will be ten times better!
4. The issues I see in the classroom were the same issues I saw on the soccer field. Yes the girls wanted to be there but they were still disrespectful. They still preferred to goof off. They still wanted to talk through everything I said. They still wanted to complain when I asked them to run TWO laps. Again, worse of all, was they anger management issues. I was constantly fighting the "She pushed me, so I am goin' push her!" thoughts. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A SPORT. I did my best but the girls could not understand that you arent suppose to just shove back. And thats how we got into a fight or two throughout the season...
5. Soccer should never be a winter sport. Come on Mississippi, we all know that it does actually get cold here. No hiding it. Want proof? Ask my aching toes and fingers. I didn't get feeling back in them until last week.
So will I do it again? In a heartbeat. Like I said, a lot of the hiccups I blame on it being my first time coaching.
Just like my classroom, we look for improvement around every corner, and I wasn't disappointed. As a whole, we won more games than last year (two this year, zero last year). We scored more goals than last year (20 this year, 1 last year). Throughout the season, the score differential decreased even when we lost. For example, we lost to Clinton 10 to 0 via the slaughter rule. A week and half later we played them again and we lost 5 to 0!!! If that isn't improvement, I don't know what is! haha.
The score aside, our ability to work together and our ability to control our anger greatly improved as well! If you ask me, this accomplishment far out weighs the improvement in scores. I am not sure you really understand the mess that was the girls soccer team at the end of October. The backtalk. The disrespect. The fights with each other on the field. It was down right embarrassing!! But by January, we were actually laughing at practice and on the bus rides home because we weren't arguing.
So what are my thoughts about soccer, coaching, etc. in the delta?
1. It is a MAJOR time commitment. I mean I understood that, but I did this alone. I had no assistant coaches. Turns out thats a big deal. Assistants actually do do a lot! Ha. I didn't get home till 7pm on a good night then I had to get ready for school the next day and still get to bed...ugh. And lets not talk about how my Friday nights and Saturdays until 4 or 5pm were taken for games. Yes I had to give up a lot, but I am not going to lie, there were its benefits...
2. The good things: I always had an excuse to not go to faculty meetings :) I got to leave school early for away games!! The girls were pretty awesome. They made me pretty angry, but I also laughed a lot. And sometimes, after really long days, it was nice to be with kids who wanted to be there and wanted to learn.
3. Coaching is kind of hard! It may be because I played rugby for the past four years. Or it may be because the girls didn't know anything and I was teaching them the basics. Either way, it was a constant struggle. It was hard to break it down that much. It was frustrating that after working an entire season on kicking with the shoelaces, we still had girls shooting with their toes!! This was my first coaching experience though. There was a lot I learned. I did an okay job, but give me the job again next year and I will be ten times better!
4. The issues I see in the classroom were the same issues I saw on the soccer field. Yes the girls wanted to be there but they were still disrespectful. They still preferred to goof off. They still wanted to talk through everything I said. They still wanted to complain when I asked them to run TWO laps. Again, worse of all, was they anger management issues. I was constantly fighting the "She pushed me, so I am goin' push her!" thoughts. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A SPORT. I did my best but the girls could not understand that you arent suppose to just shove back. And thats how we got into a fight or two throughout the season...
5. Soccer should never be a winter sport. Come on Mississippi, we all know that it does actually get cold here. No hiding it. Want proof? Ask my aching toes and fingers. I didn't get feeling back in them until last week.
So will I do it again? In a heartbeat. Like I said, a lot of the hiccups I blame on it being my first time coaching.
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