Is Ms. Jones Fair?

Last Friday I posed this question to all of my classes as their warmup.  The results were not really surprising or unexpected.  Quick rundown:

-       Majority say I am unfair à no shock there!

-       The question stated why and most said because she gives check marks à again no shock and I am sorry nothing is going to change either because check marks are necessary.

-       The good kids said I was fair

When I put up the transparency it was so funny.  I had kids who REFUSE to do work writing! Everyone can write when it’s criticizing the teacher, but no one can COPY notes. I had kids saying,  “A few sentences? Man I can write an essay!”  I just laughed and said, “You may write as much as you want in the time given.”

I did like this exercise.  I think it gave the students a chance to voice their opinions.  Whether valid or not, it makes them feel like the teacher is listening to them.  I also got some great feed back.

Although I said I was not shocked by most of the responses, there were several that stuck out:

1.     One student in my fourth block who had a major attitude problem with me but has recently been showing me as much respect as she would her mother or grandmother.

“Ms Jones she is okay..She is fair cause she allowed me 2 pull up my grade and I just want to tank you so much..I really didn’t like you at first but know you are a very cool person but thank you again Ms. Jones.”

2.     A student who I want to help desperately but needs me by his side the entire class.

“No she isn’t fair cause I don’t get that much help so I just sit here and fall asleep.”

3.      Anonymous

“No. You always write checks. Never get nothings done. Don’t let us sit anywhere. Just aint right.”

4.      A lovely (black) girl who just misses too much school

“Yes she is because she teaches very great. It’s just that the kids do not want to listen.  And I feel that that is not her fault it’s the students fault.  In my 4^th block I cant get my lesson cause the kids wont shut up and be quiet. To me she’s fair. We just have a load of ignorant black children in our 4^th block class.

I plan to make a slideshow for class Monday and at the very end have a couple slides where I pull out some of the responses.  I want the students to see that I read what they had to say and perhaps we can discuss things as long as the conversation doesn’t get out of control.

What I have taken from this exercise:

-       The kids did point out my inconsistency in giving check marks.  I know I need to be fair and everyone who breaks a rule gets in trouble.

-       I also do realize that I need to get around to everyone, but this is a balancing act and requires them to change their behavior ie. the reason I can’t make it around to everyone is because I have to stop and deal with behavior issues constantly.

-       Some students don’t understand why they get a check mark.  I need to be more clear either with my rules and expectations or more clear when I am actually giving a check mark.

My Biggest Challenge?

Waking up in the morning! Ha.  Well in some ways this is true.  Waking up each morning after a bad day is hard, but I think this is really covering up a larger issue that I am dealing with – a very monotonous schedule.  This is my first full-time job.  Up until now, I have been in school myself.  My day-to-day life was very flexible.  But now I do the same thing each and every day and it all revolves around school.  Yes I try and give myself Saturdays off, but you can’t help the random thoughts about school.  I have even started dreaming about school!  It’s so consuming and sort of boring? The actual job isn’t boring, but the routine is.  I can’t be as spontaneous as I would like.

Monotony has been a personal struggle.  Thinking about my struggles in the classroom is a whole other bag of chips.  A quick list may work better:

-       By the end of the day, I am exhausted, the kids are exhausted and everyone is acting up ten times worse than I imagine they would if I had them in the morning and to make matters worse my room is hot and smelly from a long day.  I really struggle with treating my 4^th block fairly. I tend to get short with them.  I know they are tired but what they fail to understand is that I am too!! I stand all day and I have to be in that room all day.  If everyone would just shut-up then a) there wouldn’t be so much hot air in the room b) I wouldn’t waste so much time disciplining and I could help you more and c) I would be happier and less mean. So there is definitely room for improvement on everyone’s behalf during 4^th block.

-       Of course classroom management needs to be improved…basically I need to be more consistent on consequences.   EVERYONE who stands gets a check not just every third person.

-       Third block using the bathroom!  Here is the situation.  At the beginning of the year we went to the bathroom post lunch.  The little rascals decided they wanted to lock themselves in the bathroom and start banging on the doors and making a ruckus. Silly them – I took away bathroom privileges.  So some __(adjective)__  girls decided to complain to the assistant principal about this and they told I must allow them to go to the bathroom after lunch.  After telling them how my class acted when they were given that privilege, they said okay let them go 2 at a time.  FABULOUS – now I get to have children in and out of my room for 45 min.  That’s not disturbing at all!!! So now I say that you can go during independent work only.  Its still a mess because then kids complain about not having enough time for the work.  Moving on to the next challenge…

-       Getting kids to make connections.  For instance, you going to the bathroom when you don’t have to = less time for your work in the classroom.  What about: if everyone would follow directions, Ms. Jones wouldn’t have to spend so much time giving check marks.  Or here is an excellent one: YOUR BEHAVIOR IN CLASS EFFECTS YOUR GRADE. 

I think just about every single “challenge” I am currently facing is something any first year teacher would face no matter what kind of school district they were in.  I am struggling with things, but I suppose I must also point out that there have been improvements from Aug 4^th…thank goodness! 

An in-depth look at Chris Curran!

Yeah right.  To be honest, I did not  read every word of Chris’ blog.  That was insane, overwhelming, and tedious.  However, I did read way more than I expected.  I got sucked into his story at first because it is so similar to mine and many other first years.  But then his witty comments and insightful entries kept me reading.  Here are my general thoughts:

• He started out just like me! He was nervous and unsure and in a new place.  I know this sounds silly but after seeing second years teach so well it is nice to know they started in the same place.  I mean he literally had some of the same problems that I am having such as the ever present filler words such as “alright.”  But he later commented on how we was able to correct this.  Point being that being told that second years started where we are is all fine and dandy, but to actual read entries from when they were at the same place is even more comforting.  I can’t even imagine myself a year from now.
• Small side note: its interesting how the increase in students (last year what 50? to this year 240?) changed how we both viewed summer training.  I mean generally we both feel that summer training accomplished its goal of “preparing” us.  However our improvements were complete opposites.  For example, he wanted less peer observations, and all I wanted to do this summer was to be able to observe my peers more.  He wanted more students, which is a fair argument, but I thought the increase in students rendered the three weeks of role plays tedious (they were just too long.  They certainly had a purpose).
• Chris had some really thought through posts.  One of them that caught my eye was the one regarding “the death of MTC.” The point of this post was to predict the impact of TFA pumping the Delta with teachers on MTC in the coming years.  But what I got out of the post was the fact that MTC’s goal should be a death wish.  I had never thought about it like this, but if MTC succeeds in its goal of improving education in MS, then there will no longer be a need for programs such as MTC.
• Chris’ first few days account reminds me to be flexible (he was in the wrong room for the first day of school and all his decorating went by the way side).  He left so many stories, both good and bad.  It was interesting and insightful to jump into someone’s head who was right where we are a year ago.  

In general, I have learned a lot about Chris, and he doesn’t even realize it! The best word I can use to sum up how I felt reading his blog: comforting.

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Five weeks later...

...much improved, but lots of room to grow!

Summer training was interesting.  At the beginning, I am not sure if I was nervous/excited/frustrated/apprehensive or some combination of them all.  I didn't like that I was in a room with all males.  I didn't like that they were so strict.  And I was uncertain if I would be able to open myself up to learning from them.

Silly me.  This classroom could not have been more perfect.  The guys showed me that you need to lay down the law day one. And day two. And day three. Hell, I may still be laying down the law come December.  But it will pay off.  The students in our summer school class responded so well.  By the time July came around, they knew the rules and they knew the consequences, but more importantly, they knew that we would follow through with the consequences.  I can not thank my team of teachers enough for helping to show this important fact to me.  I am lucky that I learned this now rather than during my first year.

Clubs..what a FUN part of the day! NOT. Clubs were simply not run well.  I love the idea and I still think that they can happen, but things need to change.  I was in drama club and we did put on a performance of Romeo and Juliet, but it was stressful. There were days where I rocked teaching Algebra 1, but club was so bad that it made me feel as if the whole day was rotten. What did I learn from clubs this summer? You can have fun with students, but there needs to be structure at ALL times.  This can be applied to classrooms, sports teams, clubs, or any aspect of the school day.  The students walked into clubs knowing that it was chill, and thus acted a fool.  Now there were other problems like a lack of communication between second and first years on what was suppose to be happening.  However, had clubs been run as if it were any other class in school, I guarantee you that there would have been a major difference.

Overall, I am pretty impressed with myself and how well I kept it together.  There were days when I left school more than a little deflated.  However, I used that bus ride to digest my day and when I climbed off the bus I told myself "Today is done. Tomorrow will be better."  And then when I climbed on the bus in the morning I told myself what Sealand told me to say every day "This is my classroom  and I am going to DOMINATE today. Just like the students get to start fresh each day, so do I."  I believe telling myself these two statements really helped me keep things in perspective.  I plan to print these sayings out and post them to my wall in Leland.  The true test will be whether or not I can keep this positive thinking going during the school year as things get rougher and rougher.

As for MTC summer training outside of summer school, I think things went okay.  I have no major issues with what we have been through so far, just minor ones.  I suppose I am just amazed at the minor ones because this program has been around for how many years and it still has glitches? For example role plays.  Week two was repetitive.  I was over role plays by Wed of that week and it was hard for me to get into character both as a student and as a teacher.  Although I had minor issues, I did appreciate the fact that I was given ample opportunities to express my feelings.  Whats more, I felt like the program took them to heart.

My finally note is in regards to the effectiveness of summer school and summer training in preparing us for the school year.  My answer to this question whenever I think about it is, can you ever really be prepared for your first year?  I don't believe sitting in a classroom for a year and student teaching for another year will prepare one any better than summer training for the first year.  I mean think about it.  Its a crazy adventure we are about to take.  Come August 3, I am going to have my own classroom!! I hear all the advice people are giving me, but in the end it is up to me and how I choose my room to run.  And I just don't think that you can every really be prepared for the insanity that is going to be the first day.  You can run through every scenario in your head, but the one you don't think of is the one that is going to occur.   

Overall, yes summer training was definitely helpful...well as helpful as it can be!

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Teaching: Take Two!

Wow. What a difference!

Watching myself teach this time was completely different.  I thought I was confident in front of the classroom but this time around I actually am confident.  You can hear it in my voice and the way I hold myself.  That is why watching a video of myself teaching is great.  You can tell in the video that the students respect me.  I simply give them a look and they know I mean business.  My first lesson I was glued to the blackboard and in this lesson I was using the overhead and moving everywhere.  Basically it looked like a completely different person.  It makes me excited to see myself in a year from now (because there is still A LOT of room for improvement).

There were several things not captured on the video that I believe changed over the summer as well.

1.  My lesson planning skills: At the start of the summer I would come home and lesson plan from the moment I got home until 11pm.  I would be exhausted and stressed out.  NOW, I am still exhausted but not as stressed because I am getting the hang of lesson planning.  I spend a lot lesson time planning.  I am usually done within 2 hours or so.  I can't wait until I get to the point where I can do my lessons for the whole week on Sundays...

2.  Classroom Management:  I much better at dishing out consequences and doing it to everyone.  But I am concerned about is setting the tone in the fall.  With summer school, I had my second years and team teacher to do this.  They taught the first few lessons and they went the rules and consequences.  In August it will just be me.  i suppose that will be the real test.  Can I do it by myself? 

I think these two recordings have shown me that it can be useful to watch yourself teach.  I think I may try doing it during the school year.

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Week 4 and I have already caved in...

And I am not so proud.  

While at Georgetown I had various jobs that placed me in the classroom.  I also took several classes focused on education and children.  After getting accepted into MTC, I started thinking about how I wanted my classroom to run.  Taking from my experiences and classes, I decided that I was not going to give out food in my class, especially candy, as a reward.  In just three weeks, I have already broken this promise to myself.

Why do I believe in not giving food as a reward? There are several reasons.  First of all, it connects food with rewards for children.  They assume that if they do something well that they should treat themselves.  This can lead to eating disorders as well as obesity.  However, more importantly I am concerned with the diets of children in low income communities.  Many of them forgo lunch at school (yes it may be disgusting and low quality) and eat nothing but processed chips and candy instead.  Who knows what students eat for breakfast and dinner, but they are eating junk for lunch.  Therefore, I do not need to add to this poor diet by suppling children with cookies, chips, and suckers for answering a question in my class.  

Well, I failed.  I gave my class Dum Dums earlier this week.  Here are my thoughts: I need a reward system.  Rewards work way better than punishments any day.  So I do need a system.  But coming in with “healthy” food options, wont work...yet.  If you give them things that they want first, eventually you can slowly start introducing new things.  Get them to like you and then try changing things.  

Side note: I do realize that rewards systems don’t have to center around food.  You can give extra credit points, pencils, and other random small gifts that students love.  I plan to experiment with these items in the fall as well.  

I still believe that connecting food to rewards is bad.  But I realized that there are bigger battles for my to fight.  When I enter the classroom in August, I will have to gain control of my classroom before I try changing anything.  Right now, I need to choose which fights I want to fight because I wont have energy to fight them all.  Perhaps at some point, I will be able to say I have a “Food-Free” rewards system in my room or one that only has “healthy snack options”.  But for right now, that is not me.  I want to focus on getting my class under control and getting them to trust and respect me before I worry about life changing diets.

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Teaching: Take One!

Watching a video of myself teaching was comical and eye opening at the same time.  Its  always interesting to see a video of yourself because you see things from a new perspective.  I did notice several things that I didn’t realize I did. Plus the video really helped to reinforce several of the things that tended to reappear on my evaluations.

First of all, watching the video you could tell that learning was happening.  At the end of the day, that is the goal in the classroom.  The students were quiet and taking notes.  They were asking questions.  I was checking for understanding and they seemed to grasp the ideas I presented.  

I also noticed that I was attached to the board.  Now this tape was in week one.  I would already say that so much is happened.  I rarely write on the board.  I usually use overheads, powerpoints, or have students writing on the board.  This allows me to move and always see the class.  However, this video was a good reminder of why I need to continue to distance myself from the board.

The other thing I noticed was my use of filler words such as “um” “right” and “okay.” Sealand once told me, “If you don’t know what you are going to say next, pause, think about it, and then continue.” I really failed at doing this in my video.  I didn’t seem to know what I was going to say next.  Sealand has told me I am much more confident in front of the class (perhaps because I know them better now?) so I may have already improved on this.  But I believe this will still be a goal for me to achieve.  I know I still use filler words, however I have started realizing that I am using them.  I think this is step one.  Step two consists of me actually changing my language.  

Overall, I don’t think I look horrible.  I know what I am talking about.  I look professional.  And as I stated before, learning is happening.  I think there are many areas for me to improve on and I can’t wait to see a recent video of my teaching and compare them.

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